You shoot me down , but i won't fall .

A Day out with IDAYO !

2012-03-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Post Title says it all .

Today is GREAT !

Finally get to meet Idayo ! I still don't know why i call her that . ha ha . I've been calling her that since high school . [ secondary school sounds boring lol ]

Went to Somerset and then to Orchard ... and then we walked to three different Dr Marts store to find the Mary Jane shoes [ is that what they're called ? ] and we finally found one at Wheelock's place .

Love love love the shoes . She was kinda hesitant at first cux it wasn't the exact one she wanted but after much persuading , she bought it in the end . I'm sure she won't regret it . It's gorgeous .

I'm not really a fan of Dr Marts ... They have gorgeous boots and shoes but i guess i prefer Timberland's ...

Had our dinner and talked about O levels and our journey towards our " success " .

HA HA .

It sounds as if we're OLD . I mean omg , we're jux 17 ...

i didn't wanna go out today cux im broke but Dad gave me some cash and i am SO , VERY GRATEFUL

:') He has no idea how much it means to me cux i swear , i am totally broke . lol .

We had a lot of free time after that so jux walked around and went to Sephora's .

I need to get those HD foundations from Make Up Forever ... I HAVE TO ! But i don't think they sell em Smashbox halo[s] :(

I went around and i don't think there's any but Sephora's HEAVEN for ladies like us , seriously .

And then we went to Watsons to get some items ... and then walked somemore ...

Idayo's going to Bandung [ Indonesia ] in three days' time ! I'm so excited for her cux ...

i have nothing to be excited about anyway . ha ha .

Afterwards , we snapped a few pictures and went back to the East . Sat at Mccafe and had our supper

and chit chatted like there's no tomorrow . <3

Love outings like this . We don't have to do anything much except talk jux to have fun .

I miss my close friends . I can't wait to meet AJ soon ! <3 have to catch up A LOT .

Idayo says she likes my singing voice . Shucks if only i can believe that . I don't believe in a lot of things .

Cux i lost all faith in myself and my self confidence is still as low as ever .

And i gave up singing . I tried to make covers but i felt like i wasn't good enough so i stopped trying .

I don't even wanna let people hear me sing even if it was jux for fun .

i'd rather face NO criticisms at all . i jux don't like people to judge me or what i do .

I jux don't like it . I mean , nobody likes it but ... i jux ... don't wanna be ...

oh i don't know how to say it .

So anyway , we talked somemore . I hope she won't forget me when her school starts !

Mine's gonna be a long wait cux school starts in AUGUST . Hers [ and also the others ] will start in April .

I am so excited for them all cux ... i wanna start to meet new people and be in a new environment too .

I am jux too excited for my own school to start !

and i need to get a job .

Today's been great . Wouldn't ask for anything more :')

Hope to have more outings with Idayo again !

And also with AJ ! xoxo

What will i ever do without people like em ?!

i don't have a l o t of friends and i'm not popular and shits but i'm jux thankful to have people that i can't live without <3 I don't need to be popular to be happy .

I'm comfortable with the close ones . he he .

Anyways , i SO need to go out with Bam , Fae , Nina and the rest soon ! I don't think i'll ever live without em too !

Gonna have to go to Laselle tomorrow to return the documents so that ill have a confirmed spot in the school ! i am so excited <--- i don't know how many times i'm saying this .

Gonna go with Kitty ! Hope i can wake up early cux ... i'm not a morning person ...

Really enjoyed today he he !

AND OMG I TOTALLY NEED TO RETURN THE EIGHT BOARDS TO SIGLAP SEC .

i'll be doomed if i don't ! *gasp*

I hope Mr M doesn't mind ! We've been really caught up ... with ... um ....

<3 Rainn

I'm Lovin It .

2012-03-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night ...

I dreamt of Zayn Malik <--- SAY WHAT !?

I wasn't even thinkin of him or anything but somehow , the dream was so REAL and i felt like i really touched him . Touch his leg , to be precise and no it wasn't something sexual IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING .

Well here's the full story ...

At first the dream was about me being in a classroom full of ... prisoners ? Im not too sure but we were waiting for our "test" of somesort . It was too scary but what i felt in the dream , wasn't fear , i felt ... nothing .

It was as if , i jux wanted to get the test done and over with . They showed us a video of what the test is gonna be like and it was as if ... i was in Hell . But of course , nothing can be compared to hell but the test involved fire rituals and stuffs like that ...but that part of the dream was super short and i quickly went to the next dream [ in a sequence ] ...

It was outdoors , there was a stage ... It wasn't a well built stage . Jux a random stage with failed curtains , you know , those cheap stages ...

Anyway , Zayn was singing ! There were a few other people who really looked like his kind ... you know , those Pakistani look ... or they might be Turkish [ but Zayn isnt , duh ] ...

The people behind him were playing those mini drums and shakers or whatever and they're jux puttin on a fun show for passers by who feel bored .

I quickly ran to the front [ it was kinda far ] to take Zayn's picture ...

I felt so ... normal . In fact , TOO NORMAL . If i really did see Zayn right now , i would faint but the fact that i didn't faint , makes it all weird .

So i ran anyways , went directly infront of him [ the stage was kinda low and there weren't a lot of people . Jux a few bored peeps ] and Zayn saw what i was trying to do and he kept being cheeky , he kept covering his face and looking away jux to annoy me but i wasn't even annoyed !

I begged him to stay still while i tried to snap a picture . I don't remember what camera i was using but

it REFUSED TO SNAP A PIC !!! I was on the verge of crying cux how can it be ?!

Zayn Malik is directly infront of me and the camera isn't working !

He kept posing the same way cux i told him not to move so he stopped singing but the music kept on playing :') In the end , i got a picture . Not jux one actually but loads !

But i didn't take one WITH him .

In the end , i hugged his legs and ran off .

why legs ? Well he was sitting down and i could only reach his legs cux they were like dangling from the stage [ okay that sounds extremely wrong but i can't explain it ]

And he smiled as i ran off .

WHY DID I EVEN RUN !?

I woke up , expecting his pictures on my camera but of course i didn't check cux it was all a dream :(

But honestly , if felt REAL ! And Zayn looks even better in my dream ! It is definitely weird cux i've never had a dream on celebrities and to dream of Zayn is jux ... a blessing .

I've never met him in real life and i doubt i ever will <--- sigh ... but at least i met him in my dreams !

Zayn Malik is jux beautiful and i doubt there's anyone else that looks like him . He is TOO PERFECT .

Remember , this was all a dream , don't get excited about it ...

i should prolly tell myself that lol .

- - -

Went out with Nick today . Didn't do much . Applied for a job at _______ can't tell ya .

ha ha . Hopefully i get the job cux i'm dying to work at those kind of places . I jux want the experience and since i'm gonna be free for the next four months , it's a might-as -well-work kinda thing .

I might as well EARN while i can .

Afterwards , went to Tamp with Nick to jux chill at Mcd cux we had nothing much to do .

Sat and watched stupid videos on Youtube . Had a great time LAUGHING MY ASS OFF .

When we were going out of Mcds , there were a l o t of people staring at us .

I really don't know whether it's jux me or not but why is everyone staring at me ?!

I'm not blind , i can totally see it but ... maybe i'm jux paranoid . Maybe they're jux ... zoning out and their eyes are already at where i was ?

Maybe .

Went home early . Got back at 9.15pm ... told Mom to cook me something cux i was famished .

he he . i love what she cooked . I don't know what it's called . . .

But it did involve noodles .

Im not a big fan of noodles but im definitely a fan of what she cooked .

Anyways , i really , really hope i get the job cux i really wanna do something while i can .

I wanna start earning again and i wanna see how i'll manage myself there lol .

It doesn't require much effort to work there i guess ...

<3 Rainn

Formspring me : Rainn Ing

Follow me on twitter : Rainn_Ing

find me on Facebook : Rainn Ing

Follow me on Tumblr : Rainn-Ing .

Nobody said it was easy .

2012-03-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

Family BBQ ! [ Dad's side ]

There were some unfamiliar faces ... i think they're relatives from Malaysia ... ?

But the others came , as usual <3

Didn't bring along the Olympus cux it doesn't work well at night . The pictures will just ... go blur so mom brought her small digi cam . The flash = overwhelming . lol .

They're back from Germany again ! But they'll be flying off on Wednesday :(

They've been here since ... 2 to 3 weeks ago .

Aunt is SUPER TANNED and i'm so jealous ! Her tan is very successful ...

And ignore how my sisters and i look cux it's jux wrong ...

And i look incredibly BIGGER .

The chocolate cake was SUPERB . One of my aunts baked it and what can i say ? It's jux delicious .

Melts in the mouth ! And i was lucky cux from where i was seated , i could jux grab it easily .

Sucha fatty .

Didn't take a lot of photos cux ... we were too busy eating . Sad but true .

Talked to my cousins and they're nice ... well , they've always been nice ! ha ha .

Aji's in NAFA and i think it's his first year ... he told me that i'm gonna be spending a lot of money on art - related items ... well ... i know that i'm gonna spend a lot of money and TIME on art but sometimes i do wonder ... am i doing the right thing by choosing Laselle to do Art ?

My parents are supportive ... but ...

I've always wanted to pursue The Arts in Laselle College ... And i'm here and i'm almost there but what's holding me back ? Basically the fees and what's to come . I've expected it because everything here IS EXPENSIVE but i know this is what i've always wanted to do ... but seriously , am i making the right move ?

I don't want to be the kind of people who pay so much for education but FAIL .

but i'm not gonna fail .

i've never failed on my parents so why am i doubting myself ? I can do this , anyone can .

Jux gotta focus and give it my all .

I'm gonna settle the documents / payments soon . Either on Monday or Tuesday cux i don't wanna handle em late cux i might jux lose my position in the school ...

If i go on Monday , i might jux bump into Ayesha , Danny & Wugang ... cux they're giving it on Monday .

I forgot what's the other dude's name , shoot ...

Okay , enough about that .

since the first picture of this post is horrible , let's post another one ...

love the effect , as usual . It's called " Pop Art " on the Olympus but it's a 2009 model so my camera's kinda outdated and OLD .

But i don't really mind . At least i do own cameras , old or new .

The pic is NOT edited ! basically , you don't need to edit once you camera is cool enough .

ha ha . Okay , mine ain't cool , i'm jux saying .

i don't have issues with people editing their pictures but i do have issues with people who loves to edit their pictures but their editing sucks ...

I mean really , even models or celebrities HAVE TO get their pictures edited so it's super natural for others to edit em as well . And photographers ? They edit all the time so i don't see why people are hating on other people who edit their pictures . Seriously . It's jux EDITING .

It's totally universal .

Anyway , about me dying my hair blonde , i was half joking .

I mean , i really like the idea and i wanna try it out but i'm sure i'm gonna dye another colour over it soon after . Cux me and blonde , you don't even have to imagine to know that it'll never blend together .

ha ha .

But i've tried almost all the colours but i've never tried blonde and you know me , i would try anything if i want to ...

It's either blonde or jux ... a super lighter version of my current hair now [ which is blonde basically LOL !!! ]

and i'll see what it looks like and if i look like i'm an alien , i'm dying it .... CAN'T TELL YA YET .

<3 Rainn

Think im gonna look for a job tomorrow .

It's Here !

2012-03-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

superb ain't it ? I think Brandon took this during our 2E2'09 reunion BBQ early this year ...

So anyway , you might be wondering about this post's title ...

well , the Laselle Package's finally here !

i've been waiting anxiously [ as stated on almost every previous posts ] for it !

They sent a lot of papers ... mostly documents , obviously ... I actually read everything on it .

It's like reading the Terms & Conditions to everything ... i mean , seriously , who does that ?!

But it wasn't really long cux the fonts are kinda huge so i guess it was fine , LOL .

The fees are ... jux ... wow .

But i'm gonna HAVE TO pay Dad back the money [ with interest ] once i have a stable job so i guess it's fine ... Okay , basically , i'm not sure about the paying part cux i really don't understand what they wrote there so i guess i'm jux gonna leave it to the adult to do the "understanding" job as Ayesha would put it :D

Contracts make me feel ... paranoid . I mean , i jux don't know what i should do , after reading all the terms and conditions cux anything might jux happen !

Anyway , i went out with Arini earlier today :D

We were supposed to "work" at this IT show crap at Suntec Convention Centre and it was jux bloody stupid cux in the end , they asked for only ONE PERSON so we returned the tshirt and jux ... ciao .

Slacked at Tamp , talked a lot , ate our meals and went window shopping !

Been such a long time since i went out with her ! We used to be super close ! I would sleep over at her place with the others and there was a time when we went cycling together and i joined her and her mom with their picnic at the park .

It was Great :')

Felt like we're meant to be friends forever but something happened in between and we went our separate ways ... We're still friends but jux not THAT close anymore and it was all my fault : (

But i'm glad to say that those days are OVER !

Hope i can go out with her again ! Doesn't matter where though , we can jux chill and have a meal !

Wanted Idayo to come but she had plans ! :( But it's okay , i'm meeting her on Monday anyway and seriously , I CAN'T WAIT ! I miss her so , so , so much ! I will never ever abandon the people i treasure . I mean , if they wanna lose contact with me or whatsoever , be my guest but people like Idayo ? Lose Contact ?

NEVER .

Jux yesterday i met Hajar & Aliyah . Today , i met Arini .

Soon i'm gonna meet Idayo and then AJ !

I am so excited ! I <3 em all .

It's already March . I have to get a job by this month , like it or not . I have four more month [ excluding this month ] to work till school starts and i'm not gonna waste time NOT doing anything .

Humcar told me to sleep while i can cux when school starts , you won't want anything else but i'm always sleep deprived and ... i can't force myself to sleep cux i jux CAN'T .

and i've been doing nothing since o level period [ until NOW ]

imagine how free i am right now .

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day cux there's gonna be a wedding ceremony [West side] and then there's gonna be a family BBQ [ Dad's side ] . I can't wait for the BBQ cux i'll be the one finishing the food but i doubt that'll happen cux the food are ENDLESS . I don't have to see it to know this fact .

And it's been a while since i saw my other cousins :)

Oh guess what ! I left my iphone in the toilet of Suntec City's Convention centre and when i realized it and came back for it , IT WAS STILL THERE ! THANK GOD !

And mind you , i was already on the third level when i realized and i had to go all the way to the other side of the third level to get down the escalator cux the building's structure's jux stupid and it took ages for me to get there but it was STILL THERE !

You have no idea how grateful i am at that moment of time .

I'm still grateful , if that's what you're thinking ...

Although my iphone is pretty much useless and it has a crack on the front of it ...

I still love it cux it holds so much memories .

:')

<3 Rainn

p.s : im going blonde .

yes you read that right .

Dirty dancing in the moonlight .

2012-03-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

HOLLA !

okay so i have no other pictures to post here and i strongly believe that i've posted this picture before .

- - -

I stayed at home till like about 5pm plus cux i woke up at 4pm [ standard routine nowadays ] ...

And then Hajar sent me a text . It was really random , Aliyah & Hajar were at The Sports Centre's Mcdonald and they didn't have anything to do so i jux randomly joined em .

I wasn't kidding about the randomness of the whole thing ! But it was really fun cux the last time we met was during O levels' RESULTS DAY ! And to see them again after so long ... it's jux different .

But it wasn't awkward at all cux we jux talked , naturally .

Had our meal , talked about where we're going after all of this , what school are we gonna be in ...

Aliyah went home soon after but Hajar & i stayed till like , 11pm [ plus ] ...

It's kinda scary cux we are similar in SO MANY WAYS ...

But it's all good . Hope to meet up with them again cux there's so many things to catch up on , really !

Miss them loads .

Gonna accompany Idayo go shopping on Monday ! :D Shop for her new laptop for her new school [ RP ]

and shop for ... well , clothes ! That's what we girls do BEST .

But im not gonna shop cux i'm broke . LOL , duh , whatcha expect . I am jobless ...

Gonna go job hunting with Fiq soon !

Wanted to go today but Kira kept having last minute plans . Jeez , how annoying can she possibly get ?!

Tomorrow - can't cux Fiq has a job interview at Swensens' ... and no i don't think i wanna work in a food industry anymore ... i'll grow thrice as fat ...

Can't wait to meet Idayo , i swear ! It's been SO LONG !

soon i'm gonna meet AJ ! <3

This is a MUST cux she's been ultra busy with work and her off days are very RARE .

How can i NOT meet my own Bestie ? Seriously .

Anyways , i can't wait for my package for Laselle to come cux the others have received it !

Ayesha and Wugang have received em , i don't know about the rest though .

Think mine will come in two - three days time . Eitherway , i'm EXCITED !

Although school'll start in AUGUST ... i'm still pretty damned excited about it cux i mean , i jux can't wait to start on something , meet new people and study in a new environment .

Hell Yeah .

i don't know why i'm all excited now . ha ha . I guess i jux want to start my life , quick .

: )

first step , get a job .

lol .

<3 Rainn

p.s : didn't take any pictures today cux i forgot . LOL . Too engrossed with all the talking !

Click on the video on the previous post .

2012-03-07T01:52:00.000-08:00

I don't get it . How can anyone be so ignorant and rude and whatever ?!

This is serious talk , there are a lot of people out there who are trying their best to

plan the best possible way to stop Kony and i see a lot of people on Twitter or Facebook makin fun of him and stuffs like that .

This isn't a joke , really .

i can take jokes but jokes on a serious issue like this ? Jux go play in the traffic okay ?

It won't hurt if you jux retweet the post so that EVERYONE knows who he is .

The aim is to let him BE KNOWN so that people out there knows what he does for a living and so that everyone can join forces to STOP HIM .

Why is it so hard for people to stop and listen ?

And the video is jux a 30 minutes video . It's not even AN HOUR !

Will it kill you to jux watch it ?

Or you don't even have to watch the WHOLE THING , jux skip some parts like i did .

i understand the whole thing completely so why can't you ?

and some people are jux ... OMG ...

" What is it about Kony this and Kony that ? It's starting to get annoying "

Annoying ? The aim to SAVE CHILDREN'S LIVES [ and also to arrest him , duh ] and yeah it's annoying ?

think again .

And some people out there jux don't wanna see the video but they continue to ask WHO IS KONY .

Dude , there's a stinkin video and if you know there IS a video , why don't you WATCH IT and spread it to your family members or something ?

Seriously it won't kill you to jux spread the news .

Yeah , retweeting and reposting things on Twitter or Facebook won't make the Kony dude , die , but it's a start cux they've been planning this for EIGHT STINKIN YEARS .

And if we don't spread the word around , how the fuck are the other people across the world supposed to know about this ?

JEEZ . i jux find it really , really ... SAD ... that people are still as ignorant as fucks about this .

Imagine is you have children and they are KIDNAPPED and the girls are forced to become sex slaves while the boys are forced to kill their own parents [ which is YOU ]

Do you want that to happen ?

Since most of the people are selfish , do you want your OWN CHILDREN TO KILL YOU ?

think about it . If you don't want to help them , help yourselves .

<3 Rainn

The war has to end .

2012-03-07T00:29:00.001-08:00

STOP KONY NOW .

be a part of it .

<3 Rainn

I Love My People .

2012-03-06T08:49:00.001-08:00

Finally get to meet Bam , Fae & Nina after weeks of not meeting em !

i miss them already !

Met Bam & Moosey first , went to PRP and had a "feast" there before chillin and makin music .

I bought a lot of sushis , a huge bag of chips and hot dogs with bread to snack on !

And as usual , we bought our Cupwalker's milk tea <---- fav .

Afterwards Nina & Fae came and we sang our hearts out . It was great , the way we can jux sorta , chill , without having the need to say anything except sing .

It started drizzling so we had to shift into the shelter but it stopped right after we moved -____-

so we moved back . Sucha hassle ... Moosey went home soon after cux he had work the next day [ which is today ]

Then we made our way to WS again and chilled somemore ... talked about their music plans and some random happenings . It's definitely weird to know that i made friends with two ex-siglapians and that they're from the exact same cca as me ! [ choir ] But no , they're not from Softball as Softball is a new cca ...

Anyway , when i was in sec one , they've already graduated which explains why we've never seen each other but it doesn't matter cux we're friends now <3

Then we talked about how we first met . I HAVE NO IDEA ...

I knew both of em through Bam but i don't remember how we clicked ...

guess it's jux a natural thing .

it was such a long time ago that we met but none of us remembered HOW it happened .

As i said earlier , i guess it's jux a natural thing . : D

Had a really , really good time with em , really . They're people who i can , communicate well with .

We talked about the music plans and Bam and i got really excited and of course they themselves are .

Their music is GORGEOUS . It's not the type of songs that people listen to nowadays but somehow , you can jux relate to it . I am in love with most of their songs [ most cux i have yet to discover ALL their songs ]

I can't wait for them to go somewhere with their music , be it local or not .

They deserve it ! They're not jux musically-talented , their SUPER SMART & very humble as well !

What more can you ask for ?

Right now they're busy with work , school and stuffs like that but i am very sure , they'll go somewhere with their music . Bam & i were like telling em that we can be their assistant or something like that .

Bam can their do their and make up while i can design their very own t-shirt AND i can dress em up cux i enjoy it and they don't mind at all . he he.

but seriously speaking , once their album is out , I'M PASSING IT AROUND TO EVERYONE I KNOW .

or better still ! Pass em to strangers and force em to listen !

ha ha okay , not to that extent but they are worth listening to , i am not kidding .

For now they're just two girls with a guitar and two part singing but soon they'll have keyboard and the box drum thingies and omg i am jux too excited for them . I really hope , 2012 , is THEIR year .

i have my dreams too but if i can help others get there first , why not ?

My turn will come :)

We were singing at outside Mcd's and these guy turned and sorta "danced" to the music and smiled at me .

ha ha ! It's like , wow , he supports our music ! Friendly people FTW .

I have a lot of doubts about myself and as you people would know , my confidence / self - esteem level is very low and i jux ... don't have faith in myself in anything . I know what i want but i jux can't seem to reach it cux of the doubts . When i open up to people about my dream ... they jux shrugged and they make it seem as if i won't get there and i'll totally give up ...

But i'm slowly picking myself up . O levels done and passed , interview for Laselle passed and now i'm jux waiting for my life to finally start .

I am not gonna look back .

I am definitely happy to say that i'm one step closer .

- - -

GOTTA FIND A JOB SOON . Don't know how many times i've been saying this but i'm serious about it now . ha ha . I have nothing to do at home and most of the time i jux making music or makin artworks [the usual] Sometimes i'll meet with the others and jux chill and have Mcd or something but i want something to do cux im not used to NOT DOING ANYTHING , you see .

We're supposed to go job hunting today but i got ditched - again .

But i'm cool with it cux i woke up at 4pm <--- LOL .

i stayed up all night/morning so you gotta understand ...

I still have to go back to Siglap Sec for the LAST TIME to return the eight boards and also the portfolio file that we borrowed from Mr M . I am very grateful to him for helping us since the start . :')

He knows nothing about our results , gonna let him know when we come with the cake :D

He deserves it .

It's like Thanksgiving already ... lol !

anyway , seriously , gotta get a job soon ...

and and and ... i gotta start designing N&F's T-shirts ! he he he .

Excited Maximum !

<3 Rainn

and i miss Purple Alien .

Oh the wind , whistles down .

2012-03-05T00:01:00.001-08:00

i'm running out of pictures for this blog . Boohoo .

And i regret not taking a picture of us with our new friends from Laselle's Interview .

I hope we'll be as fun and outgoing in August . Can't wait to meet em all again !

Oh and i'm anxiously waiting for the package to arrive . I've been checking and checking .

I keep telling Dad to open his eyes for a package that's gonna come and told him about the payments and things like that . This is extremely important for me ...

Anyway , yesterday was GREAT ! Went to watch "The Devil Inside" with Nick's family and Aunt's friends .

Bam and I tagged along . It was Shasha's birthday and the whole plan was to celebrate it , obviously .

So we went to Tamp , got our tickets and got seated by 7.15pm . The show was SO SCARY !

I mean , the ending sucked though ... but i love the scary parts .

The most scariest part for me what the gun-in-the-mouth scene . I kept closing my eyes with my hands and when he removed the gun from his mouth , i thought it was "over" , in the end , he mumbled something , smiled and shot himself in the mouth .

OH MY GOD .

and my eyes were OPEN !

Jeez !

Afterwards , Nick kept showing me the gun-to-the-mouth part and i got really paranoid . ha ha .

Nick , Shasha and her fiance , Bam and i took the van while the others took their own transport

to Simpang Bedok to have our supper .

The movie was an HOUR long ONLY . So i suggest , you watch it at home instead ...

But i really "enjoyed" it though cux the sound effects were louder in the cinemas <--- well , duh .

Had a FEAST at SB ! We ordered a lot of dishes and i wish i was exaggerating but there were A L O T of food ! I felt like i was in Heaven ... But of course you can't compare anything to Heaven ...

The food was great and soon , we sang Happy Birthday to Shasha and she blew out the candles to her gorgeous strawberry ice-cream cake .

The cake is extremely delicious !

And we also had dessert after that .

The others went home first but 7 to 8 of us stayed for a while , talked and soon we went off .

Shasha and her fiance sent us home [with the Van of course] .

: )

Nick's family is totally fun to be with . They joke around , they have fun together , they're totally open to any ideas . Imagine celebrating your birthday with your family members and a few friends along like that .

i wouldn't ask for anything more , i swear . It's just great . The family bond is very TIGHT and sometimes i wish i was like that ...

It kinda sucks cux my birthday's in January and it's on the early days and no one really remembered it ...

My friends were pretty much gone . Most of them didn't even WISH me a Happy Birthday .

Not even on Facebook !

My family members were nice though . Kira gave me Domo cap , Dad gave me some cash , Mom bought a cake on Dad's birthday and claimed it was my cake too so i don't know how to feel about that lol ...

Ferr gave me cash too cux she didn't know what to buy :')

Some of my friends did wish me though . People like Kika , Kitty , AJ , Raudhy , Ain , Idayo ...

and a few others but the rest ?

Guess I've been removed from their lives ...

Even though my family's not really the type to celebrate birthdays together and stuffs like that , i still love em all . We don't celebrate birthdays often but we do travel when we can :)

Not jux us but also with Bam's family <3

Love it when we're overseas together . It's like a family bonding session but NOT in Singapore ...

It's very rare to see our family bonding , really , cux everyone's busy but Dad and Uncle will make time to plan a holiday overseas and soon we're on our way ... I love that ... a lot ...

i do hope there are more holidays to come ! And i hope Nick's family joins us too ...

8 countries and still counting ...

but i don't know why Dad likes to repeat the trips ... What i mean is , go to the same place again ...

For example , Istanbul [ Turkey ] , we've been there Thrice ...

Or Germany ...

Or Malaysia >----- lol cux it's just next door to Singapore -____-

I am very much grateful .

very , very much grateful .

Thank You God .

sometimes i do wish i was rich but come to think of it ... not really .

I'm fine with what i have and i'm grateful to be in this family even though we don't agree to each other MOST of the times but i'm really , really appreciative .

It's okay if i'm not rich . It's okay if i'm not popular , it's okay .

My job is to make my parents proud . If it weren't for them , i wouldn't be schooling and stuff ...

well duh , parents pay for our education anyway 0.0

but you know what i mean .

I've graduated from sec school successfully and i passed my o levels [ i still can't get over this fact ] and i made it past Laselle's interview ! Now i'm patiently but anxiously waiting for the package and soon i'll be in that school :')

I'll make sure , i'll do something great .

I'll make sure , i'll get out that school with something to do .

I am NOT gonna let my parents down , EVER .

so far so good ...

my life's jux getting started and i am super excited on what's to come .

: )

No , we're not rich , AT ALL .

Sometimes dad struggles with the bills ...

Most of the times im BROKE ...

i don't go to concerts , i don't buy super branded clothings , i don't get to eat at high class restaurants ,

i don't know what it feels like to fly first class , WE DON'T HAVE A CAR ...

i start work when i was 15 cux we had money issues and i didnt wanna burden my parents ...

We're always on and off ... It's like , sometimes we can afford to enjoy but sometimes we're at the bottom most BOTTOM ...

i'm jux grateful for everything :)

i don't need expensive things to define me .

<3 Rainn

wow , what a long post today ! I jux felt like talking a lot today . And i do miss writing long entries like this eventhough i know no one's gonna read em ...

but suprisingly , my visitors' count for this blog is increasing rapidly ...

We're so close , to something better left unknown .

2012-03-03T00:02:00.000-08:00

Don't know where the awful smell is coming from ... and i am so annoyed .

Everytime i step in the living room , something weird is gonna happen and today is the awful smell .

Jeez . What the HECK is WRONG with this house ?!

And no i don't intend to find the source cux i'll let the person who's "in charge" of if , do it cux if not , i'll get into a super bad mood .

I woke up at 2.30pm ... I don't remember any dreams but it is the best sleep ever .

It's been a while since i slept like a log . I felt like i was hibernating 0.0

And i didn't stay up late the day before ! That's an improvement . I would usually stay up till 4 to 5am

but i slept at 1.45am ! I really hope i can keep it up ...

Don't wanna be nocturnal .

I'm happy that i got in Laselle , together with Raudhy & Kitty and our new friends but what if i get dismissed ?

Jeez , thinkin about it makes me wanna pee . My NYP package is still on the dining table and it's still unopened cux i don't wanna open it ... But what if it's too late ?

I'll still have to wait for another two weeks till the package comes ...

okay , you know what ? WHATEVER .

i'm just gonna wait and get the payments done ASAP .

i am so sick and tired of worrying .

- - -

I miss Bam , Nina & Fae , and the others ! Been a while since we last hung out together .

Everyone's busy with EVERYTHING . I was busy with my artworks and they were busy with work .

They still are though .

Maybe i'm gonna catch a movie with Nick tomorrow ! The Devil Inside <--- heard a lot of good comments about this movie AND i love , love , love the Trailer .

I don't know what to do today . . .

i need to get a job ... cux .... there's nothing to do at home .

And if i work , i'll get some moolahs .

I don't need to buy anything right now cux i have the things i need .

Nowadays , i refuse to shop for the things i WANT cux i'm jux gonna waste a lot of money .

Guess i'll go find em jobs soon . Shucks . I forgot what it feels like to work but i do know that it's super tiring but what is life without work anyway ... Nowadays , people have to live on two to three jobs cux of the rising costs in Singapore . I don't wanna suffer so i guess i should start working now .

I do hope i spend lesser money on FOOD cux food is EXPENSIVE but DELICIOUS ...

And also the transport fares .

SHUCKS .

Sometimes i wish i was born rich ... or sometimes i wish money comes out of nowhere ...

But come to think of it , if i AM rich , i wouldn't rely on myself , i would totally rely on my parent's money so i guess i am thankful :)

I am independent . I had my first job when i was 15 years old .

Best , first job experience ever ! Even though it's only a fast food restaurant , they had so much to offer .

And i've made a lot of friends that are like my own family members . Do i regret working at KFC even though the pay is SUPER LOW ? NO , NOT AT ALL .

I hope i'll get a job that i'll enjoy doing . I don't mind if the pay isn't high , i jux wanna have something fun and enjoyable to do ... not sure where i'll get a job that fits my requirement but i can't choose to be fussy ...

Sometimes i wonder ... am i doing the right thing ?

Am i choosing the right school ?

Yeah my future is not really determined but i'll have a diploma ...

Anyone with a diploma in anything is good to go ...

But seriously , what if i make a mistake ?

What if ... i'm gonna burden my parents ?

OMG , im worrying again .

okay , i'll go get something to bite on .

<3 Rainn

Hey Purple Alien , Go make a twitter account or something !

I need a comedian to talk to me ASAP .

: (

:)

2012-03-02T04:58:00.000-08:00

SO ... we got accepted in Laselle :')

But this is only the first step . We'll get the package in 2 weeks time and we'll have to pay the semester's fees fast cux we can get dismissed if we don't do it early cux the space is limited .

I am so gonna rush ! i'll check my mailbox EVERY SINGLE DAY .

The interview was GREAT . Love my group members . Kirthi had to go with another group :(

But it doesn't matter cux we got the "Golden Ticket !" <--- okay so it was a yellow paper but they got a yellow paper in American Idol and they call it the Golden ticket ...

Talked a lot with the group and i totally feel like we're close friends already !

We had to do a solo "show and tell" thing where we take any drawings or whatever from our portfolio and we explain what's it about . I took my o level final piece but it was a picture cux the thing is HUGE and there is no way i'm gonna bring that piece a shit in there lol ...

The fashionista [ a nickname i gave to this dude ... i think ... his name is Danny ] kept telling me to start first ha ha so i volunteered . It was okay , i explained "well" , i guess . I AM TOTALLY NOT PROUD OF THAT ARTWORK CUX IT'S DISASTROUS but i had a lot to explain which is why i chose that .

I didn't have much comments or quetions about it so we moved on to the next person and the next .

The others had really nice drawings . Totally love the Heels that Danny created .

I would totally buy it even if it's killer heels .

Okay i'm confused . I forgot their names already ! omg this is bad .

But i do remember their faces and i have my own nicknames for em ... he he .

The Vintage Girl , The Humble dude , The Fashionista & The Cute one .

I hope they don't mind ...

But really , they are all nice and friendly and they have their own specific style to em .

Really , really cool .

Followed some of em on Twitter already ! Ha ha . I'm so happy cux they're active on Twitter .

Seriously . Raudhy's the only one without Fb / Twitter . She should really consider makin it ...

Anyway , before we entered the interview "room" which is actually the classroom for Year One people , we got LOST and we were LATE . You have no idea how heavy our portfolio is and we had to carry it all the way there and it was just a hassle , the whole thing .

We got ready at around 11am but ended up going there 20 minutes late . -___-

we rushed and it was so humid and oh my God , the whole thing was EPIC .

As soon as we reached Laselle , i quickly went to these two ladies who were seated outside the dance hall

and asked " Excuse me , do you know where's TBC building ? "

" Where is TBC ? " - she asked me back .

i wanted an answer , not a quetion . -__- so i asked again and soon she was like " OH YOU MEAN , TO BE CONFIRMED ?" .

LMFAO .

At that moment , i kept chanting " fml , fml , fml " in my heart cux i felt so bloody stupid .

Afterwards , Kirthi , Raudhy and i laughed like crazy and went to the reception office to ask the lady ...

so she told us to go to the basement cux we're late and we went and the minute we got out from the lift , the place was EMPTY . Jux plain white with nothing around ... I thought i was dead .

But we went around and asked this American dude and he helped us and we rushed in to the classroom / interview venue and got seated .

It wasn't hard to make friends at all ! I jux said " HEY GUYS ! " and we talked .

:') I am so grateful to have friendly team members .

First , the interviewers looked through our portfolios behind our back but we peeked anyhow ...

And it was a lil nerve-wrecking cux they were jux behind us when it all happened .

But it was over soon after ... And then we had the show and tell thingy ... after that was the group discussion based on "creativity" . It wasn't that hard . We jux talked and it flowed .

Thank God .

It was a three hour interview . It was fast though , i didn't notice the time until we went to the toilet for a break ...

And then we went up one by one to get the " Golden Ticket " . :')

Everyone in our group got in ! But we were told to wait for the package thingy that's gonna come in two to three weeks time and then we'll have to pay ... if we don't pay fast enough , we'll get dismissed cux spaces are kinda limited but we're kinda " ahead " though .

okay what am i even saying ?

lol . But we did get the Golden Ticket !!! : D

And i've made a lot of new friends ! The trip was worth it , i guess . . .

I jux hope i'll pay fast enough . I am so gonna check my mail box everyday incase it decides to come early .

Okay , i wrote that already ...

Another two weeks of "worrying" shucks . I don't wanna wait anymore JEEZ .

But i'm really , really grateful that we got in .

Super duper grateful .

Thank You God .

<3 Rainn

Finally .

2012-03-01T08:13:00.001-08:00

TODAY !!!

What would it take ?

2012-02-29T03:09:00.000-08:00

prom night 2011 <3 I miss AJ !

Two more days to Friday . I am Nervous but i am ready for it , i hope .

Went to school at 10.30am just now and went home at 6pm <--- OH MY GOD .

I am so drained out but i only drew three things . Mr M says " push yourself to 30 drawings " .

I have like ... 20 plus ? And i have a day left to get everything ready and sorted out .

So tomorrow's plan is to take pictures of Raudhy's artwork . I've already taken mine in January ...

Get our eight boards , push ourselves to a few more drawings with different mediums and we're done .

Okay no , i'll have to print out the pictures but i'm totally fine with that :D

Just hope my printer's okay ...

I refuse to do anything NOW cux i am dead beat . I don't know how the kids do it but i'm totally drained out and i didn't even do much . I think i'm too used to not doing anything ... I just want this week to end . Quick ! Jump to next week already i don't wanna wait anymore .

Two more " visits " Siglap Secondary and i'm not going anymore ! Finally ! A lot of people have been quetioning our existence . Some were really mean and sarcastic .

" Do you guys get paid to come to school everyday ? "

It's okay if you don't want us around , we'll be gone in a few days time . Be patient . ha ha .

Okay so the kids meant it as a joke but still ... He made it sound as if I WANT TO BE THERE and that is totally NOT true . I wouldn't come back if i didn't have any reason . I won't even come back for visiting .

Seriously ...

i just don't want people to think that i'm coming back for FUN .

I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO . JEEZ .

- - -

My legs hurts and i'm feeling cranky . Jeez . What a bad day . And the weather's super sunny ...

Today's just wrong . lol .

Okay i should go work on my portfolio . Will be back to update you guys .

Please please please pray for me .

<3 Rainn

That's how the cookie crumbles .

2012-02-28T00:19:00.001-08:00

Just got back from school . Didn't stay longer cux the art room's not gonna be open till late AND my brain juice is ... gone .

I lost the momentum to draw more things :(

I think maybe it's cux i feel that 20 elements is good enough .

I need only ten actually but i'm doing extra just in case and Mr M says 20 isn't good enough so ...

I don't know what to think .

I'm gonna bring along the 8 boards and if you add everything up , i'd have HUNDREDS of sketches .

He's gonna pass me the Recommendation Letter and after all's been set , i'm gonna go for the interview with no worries :)

Okay , maybe that part ain't true .

I'll still worry . I want to make it ! [ obviously ]

just three more days to Friday which is the day of the interview for my future school .

This is my future we're talking about and if i don't make it , i will BREAK DOWN and CRY .

Literally . That's what Raudhy said too .

I've been wanting to go to an Art school since sec one . Can you imagine ?

4 years of waiting and it's finally coming to an end but will i be in it or will i not ?

Only God Knows .

I still need to get my pictures printed out but i want em Glossy and i'll have to go all the way to WS to get em printed cux the photo shop here is BULLSHIT and so's the owner of the shop . I don't know whether she's just bias or racist but she is extremely rude towards my sister and i .

And ONE DOLLAR FOR ONE GLOSSY PICTURE ?!

Bull .

even if i was born rich , i wouldn't even wanna step in that shop .

i need to calm the heck down .

i'm all nervous for no reason . . . Okay , i do have a reason but i have to chill cux ...

i don't wanna be a nervous wreck for something so important !

Gonna go to school for two more days and we're off . Whatever the outcome is , we'll be coming back on Monday to thank the teachers who've helped us a lot :')

I would give em anything in return but i doubt they'll want anything ...

After that , we're not coming back to Siglap anymore . Not in a million years .

Ha ha , okay , exaggerated much but you know what i mean ...

And we also found out that one of the security guards has been transferred to another school :(

He's nice ! I don't really like the new security guard . He made me feel as if i'm a criminal or a TERRORIST for entering the school . -_____-

I'm worried about Kitty . I texted and call but so far , no replies . Maybe she's busy ... i don't know .

But i'm worried for her preparations . I mean , the interview is around the corner and is she ready for it ?

And i do hope she gets posted to RP cux she really wants it there cux JAE didn't really accept her 12 choices ... Anyway , AJ's been good i guess . She's always busy with work but she still makes time :)

I hope they all have a bright future and i hope we all stay in touch cux they're the ones i was close with in Secondary school and i am SO not gonna just go missing - in - action like some people who did .

when all else fails , make orange juice in Turkey .

I don't know why but more and more people keep looking at me like i'm weird .

[ in school today , i mean ]

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME ?!

0.0

Mdm Ros was like " WHO IS THIS ?! " when she saw me . lol .

I changed into a man overnight . Okay no , im joking . i think it's cux she's never seen me in a dress before .

Usually i'd go to school with some random long sleeves and three quarter jeans [ from Uniqlo , super comfortable ] but i don't know where those jeans went so i wore a dress ...

Why am i even explaining myself ?!

lol .

Raudhy told me stories about the end of the world ... basically she told me stories that her teacher told her .

It is REALLY interesting but at the same time , scary .

Sometimes i wonder ... and sometimes i'd ask to myself but i know better than to quetion Him .

I have to be a better person . i have to .

- - -

Meanwhile in Twitter ...

" mention if you want me to follow you back "

SO YOU'RE A CELEBRITY NOW ? LOL .

i really , really don't like these kinda people . i mean seriously .

it's like saying " i'm too cool to follow y'all back unless you ask me to so that i won't turn down the offer and act bitchy " <--- okay say whaaaaaaat ?

formspring me ! Rainn Ing

Follow me on twitter ! Rainn_Ing

Find me on Facebook ! Rainn Ing

Follow me on Tumbr !

[ oh and i have like , 5 followers on tumblr . pathetic but i'm new ]

<3 Rainn

Alien ! you're still here ! OMG ! i miss you purple alien . Have you turned hot pink already ?

Don't worry if it makes your thighs look big cux it can never be as big as mine .

LOL . did i just say that ...

one more week left .

2012-02-25T08:50:00.000-08:00

taken from the itouch . Excuse the quality .

Nick and Ruls came over and we had an intense badminton training session .

Okay , not a training but it felt like it .

At first i couldn't hit the shuttlecock and i had ZERO momentum but i gained it back afterwards

and soon i became The Pro again . <--- self-proclaimed . lol

After badminton , we played block catching ! It was really , really fun but we stopped after the first round [ 5 minutes only HA HA ] cux it was super tiring and i ran like crazy . I don't know what happened to my stamina but i've NOT been exercising so that explains it .

And i've been eating non stop <--- exaggerated .

Afterwards , we slacked at home for a while and went out to Tamp cux i had to get something .

And then we "studied" at Tamp North CC's BK . First time "studying" there and i like it .

I did more drawings while Nick studied . Well he's gonna take O levels this year . Hope he does well :D

Hope he does ten times better than me >.<

SO ...

one more week left !

to the interview ! I am starting to feel nervous but i'm still fine :D

I'm gonna be fine ... i hope .

Oh and i need to get a job . ha ha . I've been going out , staying at home , facing more artworks , researching on the most random things i can think of ...

don't get me wrong , i'm totally loving the free time but maybe it's about time i occupy myself with something else AND i wanna meet new people : D It's time to get busy again , i guess ? But i'll only find work after the interview date .

I do hope i get in . I hope , hope & hope . I'll keep praying for Raudhy , Kitty and i .

Oh , speaking of Raudhy , she's the only one that's still close with me . The others are kinda ... gone .

I mean , AJ and Kitty are still here , as always , duh , cux we're meant to be together but the others are really gone . I'll only see em on Twitter . I rarely bump into any of them ! i'm really missing Giggles , Idayo , Ruping and more .

It's not that i don't wanna meet em but sometimes i think it's better that way . :')

plus we're all busy with our own things but of course there'll be a day when we all go out together ! i'll see to it ! Might not be now , or anytime soon , but surely .

I won't ever forget my friends .

i mean , it's fine if they wanna forget me but i can't just forget people who gave me so much to remember .

They might not be my best friend or whatever but we've went out together and we had a lot of fun .

Fights are just bonuses .

If i weigh the positive and negative things about them , obviously there are MORE positive ones .

Anyway , what happened in the past , stays in the past . what's the point of raking it all up ?

I mean , just move on , it's easier .

- - -

I miss Bam , Fae , Nina , Afa and the others too ! We rarely hang out together nowadays cux they're all busy with work/school but we'll still hang out , obviously .

Can't wait to have another guitar session with em ! <3

Extremely enjoyable .

I can't imagine my life without em all . Seriously . They're like family already !

okay i guess i should go now . Mom switched off all the lights to the living room . Why isn't this comp situated in our room instead ?! Boo .

And no , i still won't use a laptop cux i hate the flat keyboard . I can't type any shit there !

i'll have A L O T of damn typos even with the dictionary mode on . -___-

Apologies on the lack of update . My life's been a joke . HA HA . okay not really , it's been okay :)

Met a lot of new people on Twitter and they're all nice . Sometimes i wish we are all friends in real life too cux the way we talk , you might think we're all close .

I wanna see the costfest at Downtown East tomorrow ! They had it just now but i didn't go .

I really hope the photoshoot's gonna be a fast one cux i love Costfests !!!

Goodnight !

Twitter : Rainn_Ing

Tumblr : www.rainn-ing.tumblr.com

facebook : Rainn Ing

You know where to find me !

peace .

<3 Rainn

Tell me what's happening .

2012-02-24T06:12:00.000-08:00

old pic .

planned to go to school today with Raudhy but the art room's gonna be closed so next week it is .

So we went to DTE instead :)

bumped into a l o t of people and i don't like it cux i look so meh today .

i don't know . These few days , when i look in the mirror , i see someone different .

i mean , it's still me but i look different .

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE But it seems as if i'm DEAD but i'm alive .

somebody tell me that it's normal and that i must be paranoid cux i am so scared .

I thought it was the mirror but when i look at myself with different mirrors , i see something different .

i just look ODD .

my hair's the same and everything else is the same but when i peer at my own face , i see something else .

it's like , i'm liveless but im fully alive .

Sigh , how do you explain it ?!

i am just so ... paranoid right now .

because i heard about a saying that goes " if you look at yourself in the mirror and you look different , that means you're gonna die soon "

FML .

so people out there , forgive me for all my sins .

I might be gone for all we know .

Sigh . i'm still young .

and i have a lot of sins .

let me live , God !

<3 Rainn

What a beautiful day

2012-02-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

oh look i have no eyes .

i drew Zayn Malik with pencil but it sucks . I didn't bother to finish shading the hair .

What's the use , i am never good at pencil sketchings .

I wanted to do one in pen but i gotta have a variety of drawings with different mediums so i decided to give pencil another go but urgh . It looks horrible .

Anyway , today Kira and i went shopping . it was extremely boring .

Never gonna go shopping with her again . ha ha . Kidding .

I finally got my shoes . <--- i have a lot of shoes so mom's gonna kill me if she finds out i bought another shoe ...

Bumped into a lot of people and they were all friendly enough to wave at me <3

I feel the love yo .

A couple of days ago , i chatted with a dude from Omegle <--- I WAS VERY BORED .

It was my second visit there . ha ha . I didn't know what to do and it was too early in the morning and i couldn't sleep -_____- .

I just chatted . Didn't do the whole webcam thingy cux i don't have a webcam and i look horrible so ain't no way im gonna show people how i look like .

This dude , claimed that he was an Alien from planet 17 . He made my day , he really did !

I don't know who he is or where he's from obviously and he went on about being an alien and that he has all these cool inventions that humans don't have . Loved the chat . Loved the whole conversation .

But Omegle is kinda ... stupid ... It doesn't allow us to like , chat with the same person again so i doubt i'll ever talk to him again :(

[ he might be a girl for all i know ... ]

But really , he made my day .

Aliens are always green and they gave three fingers > --- this was what i thought .

But he told me that he's green but he can change into any colour he wanted so i told him to turn Hot Pink .

" nahh , hot pink makes my thighs look fat "

THAT CRACKED ME UP !

And he continued to make me laugh . I really , really like people like that . I mean , people nowadays are so serious , it's kinda hard to be "fun" for one second .

I really , really hope we get to chat again eventhough it's kinda impossible .

Wherever you are , you'll be mised , dear Purple Alien !

" so what else do you do apart from chatting with random strangers across the world that might be possible rapists ? " <--- OMG :') i laughed till i teared .

Where are you Alien ?!

i wish i had a friend like him . Seriously . I wish someone would talk to me about stupid things for hours .

I mean , unless your jokes are lame and stupid , no .

I like witty jokes .

Who doesn't ?!

Usually i'm the one talking crap to my friends . Yeah i'm a serious person but i do joke around sometimes .

You didn't expect that did you ?

of course you didn't .

Well okay then , this is a fast post . it's already 12am and my eyes are super tired .

I didn't sleep well last night and i managed to only get 3 hours of sleep .

What a long and pointless day ...

Gonna go to school on Friday and the rest of next week for our last minute touch ups on our artworks !

Interview's on the 2nd of March !

Wish us luck !!! xoxo

<3 Rainn

i'm not alone .

2012-02-20T01:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i feel that i can't face the world .

Sometimes i just want to bury myself deep in a hole .

Sometimes i have suicidal thoughts cux i don't wanna live in the world anymore .

Sometimes ...

i just lose hope on things .

i tried . I tried to be confident . I'm still trying . I just don't know how much longer i can take this .

My feelings are always bottled up . I don't tell anyone what i'm feeling cux i'm always smiling .

I don't want to ruin people's day with these emotions running through me .

I don't want people to comfort me and i don't want people to say " it'll get better " .

Why ? Cux it's a LIE .

I've heard that line repeated but nothing's getting any better .

It's been two years ... coming to three . How much longer ?

I'm not a fan of waiting . NEVER a fan but that's what i've been doing all these years .

I wait . Wait for what ? Wait for something to happen and it never does .

How much longer ?

I google-d for solutions . So many of em but they're out of my reach . I watch youtube videos and so many of em are telling me that i'm not alone ... they know how i feel but what do they know ?

They don't know me ...

i mean , seriously -____-

My family members know how sensitive i can get . I've cried my heart out . I've sobbed so hard , you can't imagine ! i stayed indoors most of the times . I didn't wanna go out . Last year , i didn't even celebrate Hari Raya cux i just didn't want anyone to see me .

So many friends asked me out , i ditched em all .

Made up a lot of excuses but they're all lies . I just wanted to stay at home and enjoy the misery .

I refuse to open the windows everytime i wake up .

I refused to let the sunshine and the fresh air in cux i just didn't want anyone to peek from outside .

I was paranoid .

Oh wait ...

I'M STILL PARANOID .

Family outings ? I won't participate in it . I won't even go to the shops nearby .

And only my family members know how much i hate it if people force me to do something i don't wanna do .

If i say NO , it really means no .

There is no " i'll think about it " choice .

I'll just be a straightforward NO .

They're all annoyed with me . I can tell . I mean , who wouldn't be ? I'm annoyed at myself for being like this .

But i didn't choose to be this way . Why would i CHOOSE to be MISERABLE ?

Now tell me WHY ?

I keep telling myself that i'll find the help myself . I'll cure myself . I'll get over it soon . I just need to stay strong . For years , i've been strong . Stronger than you'll ever imagine .

I couldn't study for O levels but i did . I tried hard . I cried everyday in the toilet cux i just couldn't concentrate on anything . People around me giving me the negative vibes . They predicted that i was gonna fail o levels badly . I started skipping a lot of school .

Becux i didn't wanna face the world <--- now how many times have i repeated that ?

I wasn't exaggerating on the " i skipped a lot of school " part .

I lied to my parents . I told them i was sick . It wasn't really a lie because i AM SICK .

SICK IN THE HEAD .

But i told myself i could do it . I studied hard . I studied , i really did .

i passed my o levels and it was the happiest thing that ever happened in my life .

I came home smiling hard cux i know i deserved it .

It was like a punch in the face for people who looked down on me .

I felt really free you know ... i felt as if i own the world . School's over . I don't have to face anyone anymore . Yeah college's gonna come sooner or later but i still have time .

i thought i was gonna be fine and everything was over but no ...

I still refuse to go out with anyone except my close ones because they know .

They know how sensitive i am when it comes to this . They know how to talk to me .

They know that they can cheer me up without even trying to .

Sometimes when i look in the mirror , i'll still have the strong urges to break it .

I used to throw everything around like i'm the boss of the house .

I'll just throw whatever i feel like throwing and i'll just punch the hell out of my pillows .

i'll sleep with tears .

yeah i know i sound really daft right now with all these emotional shit but i can't help it okay .

Hell yeah i'm frustrated .

Do you think it's easy ? What the hell ? You really think it's as easy as A B C ?

Tryna even survive a day when i just can't .

Jeez . It gets tiring yknow .

When i go out , i don't tell people where i'm going . Not even on Twitter .

I'll only say it when i'm back home so that i won't bump into anyone i know .

I just don't want people to see me . Get it ?

I don't fucking care if i'm not alone okay ?

i just want all this shit to end ASAP .

<3 Rainn

Finally .

2012-02-18T05:28:00.000-08:00

we went out today ! We as in , Nick , Ferr & I .

I really wanted the Ban Mian so we decided to go to Tamp to have it :D

Saw a few familiar faces tho ... like Alisya and Sze yi !

Sze Yi hugged me from the back and i was like " WHO THE FUCK ?! " ha ha .

Thank God it's her ! Imagine a pervert hugging you from the back while you're getting ice cream .

HA HA .

Been a while since i saw her :')

My expression : huh ?

ha ha

Didn't take a lot of pictures but a few will do . Didn't bring along the Olympus . Brought along the small digi camera instead :D It's a good camera , really . It looks as if it's already edited <3 which means , i don't have to edit the lighting ! whoopee .

i used this digi camera when we were in Istanbul in 2011 . Great camera even though it's small , cheap and simple . Even Kitty liked it a lot cause she says she looks great in it . ha ha . But it's true !

i think it's Fujifilm or something ... Fujifilm isn't a good brand actually but the small digi cam is good !

Seriously ! You just need normal batteries for it to work .

AND it's super portable and LIGHT .

okay why am i saying all this ? I sound as if i'm making an advertorial .

no , i'm not . I'm just saying that the camera takes good pictures so you guys don't have to get all those damn expensive DSLR cameras cux this one works just fine :D

and i have two of em . One in black and the other in gray .

Sometimes it'll randomly freeze or it'll just refuse to snap a picture so if you wanna snap a celebrity and if he or she is moving away real quick , i suggest you get a better camera cux this one won't make you smile .

LOL .

So anyway ...

i had my Ban Mian ! <3 <3 <3

And i finished the whole thing ! But i did take my own sweet time cux the thing's HOT and there's a lot of noodle in it . You guys should really try it , it's just heaven . AND it's raining ! Can you imagine , eating a hot soupy noodle in a cold weather ?

Makes the food tastes better , yknow .

The auntie or whatever you call her is nice :D Well , she's always nice ...

*hold on ... i'm singing*

okay , karaoke session's over . ha ha . ARGH , i really want to make a cover but i'll just get upset over everything and i'll just delete every video i recorded .

Retarded bitch .

okay , okay , i'll really make a cover this time . I don't know how or where or whatever but i just wanna do it with the guitar <--- woah , sounds extremely wrong .

But i really wanna make a cover JEEZ OMG JEEZ OMG .

why is it so easy for all these youtubers ?!

Excuse me while i have a bitch fit . LOLS .

<3 Rainn

Dad just got home !

2012-02-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

ha ha my dad's cute

Look at the gorgeous sky in Istanbul Turkey !

i miss that place :')

Dad just got home from there .

I think it's his fourth time visiting !

This time he went there to escort somebody back home and he took the opportunity to camwhore a little and buy us things :D

I really hope we'll visit that place again cux it's really worth it .

Gorgeous place with gorgeous sceneries .

I've only been there ..twice ... or thrice ? I don't remember . I was a lil kid back then and so was Kira .

But the trip there last year was great . Enjoyed it very much even though we didn't get to go to some places that we wanted to . :(

Dad bought Kira and i , bags and jackets !

And he bought shoes for Ferr .

He's not feeling well though . He says the weather there was too cold to handle and his body lost it , i guess .

Hope he gets well soon !

- - -

Apologies for the lack of posts . My life's been pretty much boring . I think im gonna go shopping next week

so at least there'll be a post coming up and MORE NEW PICTURES [ i hope ]

Think im gonna do shopping with Kira cux ... we're in need of shopping anyway .

And i totally feel like eating Ban Mian from Food Culture [ Tampines ]

random food cravings out of nowhere .

I'm not gonna do those crazy shopping though ... cux i gotta like , save .

Since i'm not working and all ... and the transport fares' are NOT CHEAP ...

and so is the rising cost of FOOD ...

Anyway ... Ru ping is sick too . Get well soon !

Everyone's sick now . Guess it's the SICK SEASON .

Get Well Soon Everybody !

It's 12am here . I spent the whole day at home . I drew some random sketches of people and one worked out but the other sucked so bad ...

And then i decided to paint and when i start painting , i stopped right after .

The brushes are just STUPID .

I was broke at that moment so i decided to get those cheap brushes thinkin it won't make much difference but IT DOES :0

i don't even know what i was thinkin when i get em !

It's not even REAL BRUSHES . The tips are PLASTIC and the paints don't even get ON THEM .

JEEZ .

i feel stupid for buying it .

but in my defense , i was really broke .

Time to get new sets of REAL brushes .

Interview's coming soon . In two weeks' time ? Somewhere along there .

WISH ME LUCK :D

<3 Rainn

follow me on Twitter . I follow back always . Unless you're a pornstar ... or unless you have a picture of an EGG .

find me ! Rainn_Ing <--- Go Go

Old Friend

2012-02-14T06:38:00.000-08:00

so i'm running out of pictures ...

what have i been doing these past few days ?

well ... i'm still busy with the wood burning .

I am so scared cux i drew out the roller coaster tracks and i burnt it etc but ..

it looks stupid ... and the background is just odd .

So i have to rethink about it . I gotta add another element to fill in the open space of the wood

and i have to string all of em together so that it makes ... sense .

Okay it doesn't really have to make sense cux it's called " Surrealism " but ...

right now it's just off . WAY OFF .

Please help me , God .

I've not been drawing cux i've been such a lazy bastard .

I'm really afraid that the wood burning piece won't look good and that i wasted time doing it .

Jeez , why do i always screw things up ?

The roller coaster tracks are super distracting cux it looks really ... cartoonish .

i mean , it's not even supposed to look real but oh i don't know , i just don't like it .

okay i should calm down .

Anyway , im in need of new clothes . I think im gonna go shopping next week or the week after .

Right now im busy ... doing nothing .

i've been at home or in school ...

Today is just another day .

i stayed at home cux i didn't have anything to do ... i burnt a lil design on the wood but i stopped cux

i got distracted by the internet [ happens all the time ]

I'm tired .

everyone knows where they're gonna go already . Everyone knows what school they're gonna be in and how their future will look like but i have to wait till march !

and im working on all these artworks but im not even sure whether i can get in the art school or not .

It gets tiring you know .

I have to wait , wait and wait .

Do you think i like waiting ?

Usually i would enjoy the days i spend at home alone but today ... well today's PATHETIC .

i sat and stared into space ... just waiting for time to pass and something to actually happen .

i wanted to call and ask somebody out and i realized that ... i don't have anyone to call cux

i don't have friends .

ha ha . okay , i do have friends but everyone's gone .

They're either busy with their lives ... or busy with their lives .

Bam and the others are busy with work ...

and i can't possibly ask Nick out ... it's a school night !

JEEZ .

pathetic life i lead but it's okay , something's bound to happen .

i guess im not used to NOT doing something . I'm always busy . My hands are always doing something .

But now im free ... and it's just so weird .

Story of my life - _____ -

when will it ever get exciting ? I've been waiting and so far nothing .

No , i'm not longer DEPRESSED and NO i don't have anxiety disorder anymore but i do

have moments ... that are not supposed to be shared here so let's change the topic .

lol

- - -

Another random picture .

I just don't know what to do .

Maybe it's time for me to get a job ... maybe not .

I told myself that i'll only find a job after March . After the interview , to be precise .

GAH .

i just don't know what to do .

i tried to make covers but i screwed everything up as usual .

FML .

i am born to NOT do anything .

<3 Rainn

Gimme more .

2012-02-11T04:24:00.000-08:00

i think i've posted this pic before .

hello world .

i really don't know how to control my Tumblr . And i think i have like , only one follower .

:/ Talk about unpopular ...

ha ha , anyways , i think im just gonna stick to blogging here cux it's so much easier !

But of course , the pictures there are amazing ...

Speakin of pictures , i really really wanna do more photoshoots .

I wanna take pictures of people in action or people doing some random poses ...

It brings me joy . <--- ha ha . Sounds wrong .

But seriously , i enjoy taking pictures . Just snapping the sceneries or whatever .

I don't even have to be in it .

i miss this photoshoot . It wasn't exactly Great and the place wasn't really Perfect but it was very enjoyable !

And the ladies looked gorgeous [ as usual ]

I think it's a good platform to get Mom started on her make up business cux she's really serious about it .

I don't see why she needs all this cux she's already a make up artiste or whatever they call it and she had a lot of opportunities to work with Mediacorp and various bridal groups !

Im happy for her cux she achieved what she wanted and i guess , she's living her dream ?

When is it gonna be my turn ?

Anyway , you should see my house . It's full of gowns and dresses and everything else .

I don't even know where to put em ! Mom won't let us touch it , obviously but it's conquering the whole living room and mind you , our house ain't big ...

But i guess it's cool like that . Makes it look as if we own a Boutique ... in the house ...

Get it ? No ?

okay whatever . lol .

- - -

Okay im gonna post another random picture here so that the space won't look so dead .

So ...

Today is Saturday !

I feel so relaxed . I'm grateful that i get to stay at home during the weekends instead of go back to the school i've officially graduated from to do more artworks .

I decided NOT to sketch or do anything today cux i deserve to rest :)

Okay no , im just saying that now but im sure im gonna draw something later on .

I just can't stop .

Normally , people would call it " Boring Saturday " cux they have no plans etc but sometimes , i love having no plans . I get to enjoy my day at home , use the comp as much as i want to , Google some shits , Youtube all day long ... you get the point .

I'll have to go back to school on Monday ... and the next day ... and the next day ... and so on .

Yes im serious about my artworks cux i screwed my o level art . LOL .

like really screwed .

but B3 ain't bad ... i got the same score as the people who worked thrice as hard so i feel okay about it .

Thank You God :')

come to think of it , 3 seems to be MY lucky number ...

OMG REALLY .

I play softball and ... i play mostly 3rd base .

BASE NUMBER 3 !!!

and my jersey ... well ... at the back of it is 03 !

and O levels ?

i got four B3[s] !

OH GOD .

There's just something about that number that keeps me going .

ha ha .

- - -

Today is Taylor Lautner's Birthday !

I spelled him name wrong on Twitter :/

EMBARRASSING .

No wonder it sounds odd .

i spelled Lautner as Laurtner .

But LAURTNER LOOKS NICER ... AGREE ME WITH ME ON THIS .

He's 20 years old ... Same age as Kira . 0.0

but he's still mine , obviously .

Someday he'll know that i exist .

i can dream can't i ?

OH OH OH !

i wanna get African Apparels . Super cute .

I think i'll go shopping at the end of the month ...

cux now im super broke .

oh well , im not working , so what do you expect ? :p meh .

I really , really want Mcdonald's !

<3 Rainn

follow me on twitter !

Rainn_Ing <--- you know where to find me .

Artsy

2012-02-09T04:33:00.000-08:00

If you're wondering why there's like a space on the lioness' face , well that's cux im gonna put a roller coaster across it . i don't know how to explain it . ha ha . wait till it's done ...

went to school again . Im working on my wood burning artwork .

chit chatted with the sec one dude . He has a British Accent ! It is so cool but at the same time , i think he's faking it . Eitherways , it sounds REAL and i buy it . : D

Talked to the other art club members too . They're nice and they even asked me for permission when they wanted to refill their water bottles ! HA HA . Oh God ! I'm not even a teacher .

Today went well , i guess :D

Mr M asked me " Are you thinkin of retakin your o levels ? "

INSULTED MUCH .

At first i was , but i get what he meant after he explained it . ha ha .

At first he thought i had 4 credits for O level ... but no , i have five of em ...

I didn't know this fact until late January . -..-"

It didn't really matter much to me cux i passed my O's and i'll just take it to my grave .

So instead of 21 , i got a 17 ...

Which seriously don't matter cux i've applied to art schools and i got accepted in NYP so ... yeah .

He asked me about the retaking thingy cux he wanted me to go take Art Teaching in NAFA .

He told me to apply just now and he'll recommend me etc cux i can be an art teacher in 4 years time through art teaching in Nafa [ 3 years in NAFA and 1 year in NIE ] ...

I wasn't sure so i told him i'll think about it ...

So i've checked Nafa's closing registration date and it says 31st March 2012 for Singaporeans ... so i have like , a whole month to decide .

I guess i'll just go through Laselle's interview on the 2nd of March first and we'll see what happens after that .

If i get through , WHOPPEEE ! but if i don't , i'll take up art teaching in Nafa .

worst comes to worst , i'll just go to NYP for Industrial Design [ eeek hate that course ]

i have a lot of back up plans ...

- - -

i'm still broke . -..-

I'm not working so it's completely understandable .

I think i'll find a job after my interview in March .

I wanna focus on doing my artworks for now cux it's important for my future .<--- lol i sound extremely serious but i am 0.0

- - -

okay i should go now . Apologies on the lack of updates .

My life's just getting started .

Hold up yo .

<3 Rainn

Whatcha Say

2012-02-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

can i have this gorgeous jacket from Chanel ?

It's simple yet cool lookin . GAH . I'm so annoyed cux i can't get my hands on em .

And purlease , i doubt Singapore has em .

Anyway , i'm back from school . Finally got started on wood burning ! :) It is SO troublesome at first cux you have to like , take care of the hot iron incase it gets to your hand and shits but i got the hang of it after a while . The thing's really , really HOT and Raudhy burnt her finger by accident . 0.0

Gotta hurt .

I don't know the technique of doing it so i just did stippling cux ... that's the only possible thing to do cause i was shakin like hell . Nervous <--- you gotta understand , it's hot and i'm scared . lol

Only Raudhy and i were in the Art room . Yesterday , i was all alone . But i like being alone , surrounded by artworks . You can get a lot of inspirations and ideas ! But it'll kinda get scary after a while ... cux you're all alone ... and ... those artworks are creepy . Really .

So anyway , i have like , 11 drawings already :D I'm very thankful cux i've got my skills back .

i kept praying and praying to get my drawing skills back cux i lost em [ in January ] and i got em back !

Thank you GOD !

On top of all that , i still have my eight boards from O level and i looked at it again just now and i can't help thinkin ... " not bad ... "

i mean REALLY ! It's not BAD AT ALL . Yes it's totally not an A standard but it's definitely a B3 standard [ which is what i got ]

I like my boards [ minus the first and the last ones cux they're extremely ugly ]

The only thing i hate is the FINAL CRAFT ITSELF .

JEEZ .

it was colourful when i handed it in ! But now the pastel faded and it became a very dark artwork .

Almost like somebody spilled black powder all over it .

It was AVERAGE LOOKING when i handed it in , really .

The colour looked good and it was an okay artwork but NOW ...

It's just too ugly to be seen ... which is why it's hidden behind all the artworks in the art room :)

And i will not hesitate to throw it away . I won't even miss it .

For the first time ever , i really don't know what i was thinkin when i did that artwork .

Embarrassing .

i will not let myself do those kind of low standard artworks anymore . never in my life !

- - -

Gotta head back to school again tomorrow . To continue the wood burning cux i can't bring home the hot iron cux i'll just die :/ I hope the end product is gonna look great .

My artwork is called " The Animal Amusement Park "

Obsession for now : ANIMALS .

i have to draw out the roller coasters before i can burn the lions completely ...

im a first timer at this so if it suck , at least i tried it . :D

and i can always throw it away ... duh ...

So anyway , i'm broke now . Jeez . I spent a lot of money on art materials , transport and FOOD .

Most importantly , FOOD .

Okay no , maybe transport is the most important factor but oh heck .

The transport fares are STUPID . Just plain EXPENSIVE and STUPID .

And the food ? Good food don't come in cheap but NOW , EVEN THE NOT-SO-GOOD FOOD ARE EXPENSIVE .

" the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer " <---- or so the saying is ...

It's just bloody stupid that everything is increasing .

And it's TOO stupid if people keep saying " Money isn't everything "

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING ?!

WHAT WORLD ARE YOU LIVING IN ?!

Jeez i'm frustrated cux i go broke because of transport and food .

Just these two bloody annoying factors .

<3 Rainn

Close enough to start a war .

2012-02-05T05:45:00.000-08:00

i walk a lonely road ... not that i mind .. ha ha

i miss AJ & Kitty . They're both busy with work while i'm busy with my artworks .

i'm taking the interview seriously cux i really wanna get in an Art School .

Nothing will stop me . Not even you .

i'm thinkin of per-suing the Arts overseas . Maybe in Europe ?

But come to think of it , i would be wasting my time so maybe not ? I'm just not sure .

Yeah i can't go really far being an Artist but surely i'll do earn enough to live .

I don't do it for the money . I do it for passion . And i can always have a parttime job if it gets tough .

Maybe i'll just go overseas to visit em museums ! They have lots of em , even better than the ones here !

I really wanna grow up , travel alone , or with Nick & Bam , and live my life .

Of course , i won't do things that are kinda way off limit .

Now , i'm really busy with drawings and wood burning and other crap ...

If i don't get in , i really won't know what to do . I might take up Psychology in MDIS but ...

i'll feel kinda odd and lost cux i've been drawing all the while .

But things happen for a reason so i just have to trust God and only God . :)

I'm worried for my future . It's like , i don't know what i'll be . I don't wanna be someone that fails in life .

NEVER .

I think i'll find a job right after my interview in March ...

[ hopefully i get in . oh please lemme in :'( ]

i'm not really sure how i'll feel about work cux it's been SUCHA LONG TIME SINCE I'VE WORKED .

i have the experience of course but there's something about meeting new people and being all alone without my friends with me ... it just scares me .

yeah i'm independent and shits but still , i need someone to accompany me at first and then i'll let loose along the way . that's how i work . :0

Self - esteem and confidence ?

still VERY low . I mean , i can go out now without feeling super nervous for nothing , at least .

But i'll still feel like i'm not supposed to show myself to the world . I'll feel that i look too fucking ugly to everyone .

It kinda never ends . Imagine yourself in my shoes . Would you wanna look like me ?

yeah of course not . That's how i feel .

so how's life ?

well , life's been okay

i love staying indoors but i have to go out to school to do em artworks sigh .

When am i gonna get my real life ?!

im already 17 !

cut me like a knife

2012-02-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

i used to obsess on Singing .

yes , i love to sing .

but somehow , i can't just , sing to people . There's something holding me back .

Yes , im afraid of bad comments and yes i have a major stage fright and i can't sing solo .

never in my life .

i tried auditioning to various things but i just can't make it . :'(

you know how much is sucks to be me ? I rarely complain about it but i'm having PMS today [ clearly ] so i decided to do this post . I've never been satisfied . You know how sucky it is to be a Perfectionist ?

I didn't choose to be this way . I just am !

I WANT to be good at everything .

I WANT and I HAVE TO BE GOOD AT IT .

and if i can't do it , i'll just flip .

FLIP HARD <--- okay that sounds wrong ...

It's just bloody annoying . I really , really love singing ...

but it's okay . If i'm destined to NOT perform then i shouldn't . Why should i keep trying when i know im gonna fail ? I don't wanna be those losers who keep trying even know they CAN'T SING . SERIOUSLY .

i don't wanna be labelled as " you stupid bitch "

same goes with everything else .

like drawing , painting , making things , talking , walking , outer look , inner look .

OMG .

there is just too many things to focus on and here i am trying to catch up with everything else . JEEZ .

but i'm focusin on the inner part cus duh , i cant do anything about my outer look till im legal for a plastic surgery .

im too ugly . LOL . TOO UGLY CANNOT TAKE IT * filipino accent here *

i do care about how i look . It is very difficult to put up with everything . Everyone looks perfect without trying and here i am , trying my best to put up a show .

IT'S JUST TOO HARD FOR ME .

I like socializing but because of my ugliness , i lost all respect for myself .

I don't even know how to look at people . I used to love socialising but now im just a nervous wreck .

i don't even know how im gonna survive this evil world . JEEZ .

Im just letting out steam .

Deal with me .

<3 rainn

Read this right .

2012-02-03T22:04:00.001-08:00

SORRY .

to Kim and SK .

Fail Day

2012-01-31T08:03:00.000-08:00

Bam and i went out for a guitar session ... Our main aim is to make a cover .

Just a plain , decent and nice cover ... but we failed :'(

WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS ?!

We can't seem to just make it work .

I see all those Youtubers makin covers of various songs IN THE SAME DAY and we're struggling to even cover ONE stinkin SONG .

yes . i am pissed .

So in the end , we chilled , played the guitar more [ without takin a video ] and do what we do best - Camwhore .

i feel bad cux i lost all my mood and the pictures i took of Bam were HORRENDOUS and the pictures she took for me were nice :0

Sorry Bam !

okay i don't know why my head is naturally tilted to the right in pictures . HA HA

looked up cause i saw an Eagle ... - pic below

A L O T of my pictures instead of Bam cux i took ugly photos :(

I wasn't in the mood and i was pissed so yes .

Because of the really GREAT EFFECT called POP ART , the colours are naturally brighter and happier and we don't have to even edit anything !

I don't even know when was the last time i edit the lightings of my pictures .

With Olympus , i can like snap all i want without needing to adjust the lighting or whatsoever !

No edits at all !

i look so much better in pictures . i swear . All thanks to Olympus or any DSLR cameras .

It's kinda natural cux DSLR[s] make people look better . Apparently , they lie . : (

Anyway , i'm spending most of my time in school and out with Bam and the others .

IT's either i'm makin artworks OR music .

Well atleast they're all "productive" . . .

today i finally got the wood for wood burning . I've drawn out the design but it's incomplete .

Mr M gave us an A3 size ! im kinda worried cause what if i don't have time to finish it ?

My interview's in one month's time !

But i'm sure i will :)

i have to work twice as hard cause HELL NO AM I GOING TO NANYANG POLY UNDER INDUSTRIAL DESIGN .

i mean ... SERIOUSLY .

yeah , i still have a plan B to fall back on but industrial design ? i keep thinkin about how sucky it's gonna be .

yes i like to draw , yes i like to invest a lot of time in designs but ... industrial design ?

no no ...

n e v a ...

Art and applied science together = DNT .

bottom line is : HELL NO .

Laselle is still my first choice and if don't get in ... i really don't know what to say ...

but im thinkin of going to MDIS for Diploma in Psychology ...

i can get the diploma for ONE YEAR ONLY !

i don't have to waste 3 years ... unless i keep failing .

3 years' of education into 16 months = brain explode

but i've always wanted Psychology but it has always been ... an underground wish cux i don't want people to comment and all but since Bam and Fae are gonna take the same course , why don't i do the same ?

since i also have the interest ...

BUT Laselle is still my first choice

i'll work my damn ass off for the porfolio .

<3 Rainn

29th / 30th January

2012-01-29T18:05:00.000-08:00

It was Dad's birthday on the 29th but we had a photoshoot on the day itself so we celebrated his birthday by having a cake on the 28th :D

Delicious cake !

I didn't get him anything though :(

Not yet cux i really don't know what he wants ...

The photoshoot was fine ... Thank God the girl in purple came cux if not , i would have to replaced a missing model AND HELL NO TO THAT .

The girls were gorgeous !

I was there to help em out with the dresses and everything else .

The fun part was the FOOD ! We had free food and transport so it was okay !

The fitting took FOREVER and i waited there like a fool . : /

But i took pics of flowers to keep myself entertained . Flowers are interesting ...no matter how fake they are .

i took pics of the girls BEHIND THE SCENE .

a lot of people wanted to take pictures with em ladies !

Well , i would totally do it if i were a guy ...

we started as early as 9am and ended at 8pm . TIRING MAXIMUM !

i wanted to drop dead already . In the end we took a cab home and i jumped on my bed and the night ended just like that ...

- - -

JAE RESULTS ARE OUT !

i got into Nanyang Poly - Industrial Design .

i mean , how random can that get ?! ha ha .

poly is my plan b route .

Let's say , if i don't get into Laselle , i'll go to this course then .

I don't really mind cux atleast i have something to focus on from now on : )

Industrial design is SO NOT MY TYPE . i mean , it has the word " design " in it but im gonna be designing things like seats ... telephones ... stuffs like that ...

weird .

Really , really , really hope i'll get into Laselle .

I won't know till early March so wish me luck ?

<3 Rainn

Jeez .

2012-01-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

I will not let anyone come and ruin my life and leave just like that .

i promise you that .

You do shit to me i do the same .

Bollywood craze .

2012-01-27T03:14:00.000-08:00

This Movie is called " Kal Ho Naa Ho " which means "Tomorrow might never come" [ or something like that ] .

It's been my favourite Bollywood movie since i was so little !

My cousins and i would weep over the saddest part of the movie over and over even though we've watched it countless times ! :')

This is a GREAT MOVIE and everyone should watch it .

Before i die , i would love to meet Shahrukh Khan <3

His acting skills are superb ! Not only in Kal Ho Naa Ho but also in other movies like " My name is Khan " and more !

Love the theme song which is why i'm listening to it now .

The show's like , 9 years old but i still love every bit of it .

I can tear up while listening to just the song even though i don't really know what he's saying . ha ha .

isn't he DREAMY ?!

He's gonna be 47 this year and he's married with two kids !

I mean , he's already a dad and he's entering the fifties but O M G ,

He's STILL DREAMY .

he's not only an actor , but a producer AND a television presenter !

He's in over 80 films altogether !

GOSH !

I mean , DUH , he's AMAZING , what else is there to say ?

I don't know why he looks young . He does work out and all ... which is prolly why he looks young .

Damn imagine if i had him as my Dad ! i mean WOAH .

or him as my husband :')

imagine that .

ha ha .

tsk i'm only 17 ...

- - -

Anyway , Raudhy and i went to school just now to work on our portfolios [ as usual ] but we totally came on the wrong day cux we had to help out on A L O T OF THINGS .

there were so many things to carry and we had to dismantle this large frames and clean em inside out and we had to fix em all again and then take it out again cux we didn't listen close enough and then my finger bled : /

ARGH . I almost died from exhaustion .

Gladys and Farah helped out too and then Farisah came and did the same : )

So at least the workload was divided equally .

Girl Power !

i tried drawing a baby without a picture : / it was hard . in the end i threw it away cux it looked ... scary .

yes i know it's bloody annoying when the camera goes out of focus .

AND i like to use the pop art effect cux it makes my hair look damn nice . Especially the colour .

BUT MY HAIR'S JUST BROWN .

orange is so last year .

im into humble colours now :D

brown will do .

Tiring Day but im almost done with my design for the wood burning . Gonna get it done and finish it ASAP !

i'm only left with one month !

i can do this .

Might be going to school tomorrow . YES , on a freakin Saturday ...

<3 Rainn

hafta keep myself busy yknow .

self proclaimed photoshoot

2012-01-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was really , really fun .

Bam , Nick and i decided to ... have a mini photoshoot cux we were really bored !

But it was great cux the pictures were awesome and i look good [ ehem ]

NO EDITS .

*Great means ACCEPTABLE LOOKING <-- my definition*

didn't upload ALL the pictures here cux we took a lot !

But they're all on facebook . Add me if you wanna see it .

Rainn Ing <--- you know it's me .

Afterwards , Ferr joined us at BK . Bumped into a lot of people that day and they were nice to say HI !

today i went to school . Mr M says we can do the wood burning so now we're working on the design !

im so happy cux i really want to do that thing ! :D

It'll add more variety to my portfolio :)

so far the portfolio's been great .

February's ending and i'll have another whole month till the interview for Laselle .

i'll do my very best to get in , i promise you that .

OH extra note : The Camera effect [ pop art on olympus ] made my hair look orange so i have to say this again . MY HAIR IS JUST BROWN . It's not orange becux orange is so last year for me .

Follow me on Twitter .

Rainn_Ing

<3 Rainn

i was trying to be nice . i mean , if you don't want any help , just say it .

There are billions of people that needs my help so if you don't want it , it's your loss .

Chinese new years' Eve

2012-01-22T07:24:00.000-08:00

Ello Everyone !

Happy Chinese New Years' Eve !

i'm sure all the chinese people are doing all those last minute shopping for the big day .

I'm sure they're gonna have lotsa fun AND lotsa m o n e y [ red packets ]

Went out with Bam , Nick , Moosey , SunFiq , Ferr & Kira to White Sands and to Tamp .

Atfirst it was just us three [ Bam , Nick and i ] There were lotsa weird people today .

Three white angmoh dudes kept STARING AT US !

in the end , they took a picture of us and it was so obvious 0.0

I got kinda scared ... But we kept our distance . I think they were drunk cux they had a lot to drink eventhough they were at Mcd ...

An old Chinese dude sat with us for a while and kept "flirting" with Bam ... It was very scary cux he kept asking personal quetions but Bam lied .

Smart Girl .

In the end he went off , thank God ..

Afterwards , another dude , im not sure of the race though , he sat at the next table and had his seat facing us ... so all the way , he kept looking at us as if he was expecting something great to happen .

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD ?

Oh and i think i saw Irsyad [ AJ's friend which is also my friend , i think ha ha ] with his group of friends .

They kept looking at me ! Jeez . At least say hi or something ... I didn't wanna like , embarrass myself so i just looked away and pretended to see nothing . :( I feel bad but what if it wasn't him ?!

What if the dude isn't Irsyad ?

A lot of shops were closed . Made me really annoyed cux we didn't know what to do ...

And it was raining so we couldn't really go to the park ...

so we just walked aimlessly . Went to Tamp , expecting Food Culture to be open BUT IT WASN'T :'(

So we walked around somemore and took random pictures in the arcade and outside it .

It wasn't exactly fun but it wasn't exactly boring either .

In the end , we went to 711's to get some food and drinks . Ferr , Nick and I went home after that while the rest went back to White Sands ...

Pictures are with Bam so i guess i'll upload em only tomorrow :(

- - -

YESTERDAY , Nick , Ferr and i went shopping .

i didn't have anything at Mcd cux i am really , really tired of fast food .

boo to the blurry pictures . :(

Ferr and i got our lunch at Food Culture , Tampines . We had Ban Mian ! Really , really love it .

Everytime i go there , i'll have the same thing over and over . Other places do sell Ban Mian but theirs ain't as nice as FC'S . You guys should try it , really .

$4.50 for chicken , $5 for Fish . For me , i like the one with the fish but both are great .

AND it is totally worth your money ! A big bowl with lotsa noodles and usually i'll take sucha long time to finish it cux of the amount . Really , really like it a lot :)

After that , Nick came and joined us . Soon , we went off to Bugis . The train got delayed a lot of times ! :(

We had to get out of it cux the train wasn't working well and when the next one came in , it got stuck again .

JEEZ . Somebody go fix the trains already ...

so many faults .

We went to Bras Basah cux Nick wanted to get old books and then we went to Bugis Junction and Street .

Afiqah Sam saw me but i didn't see her ! Damn it is really embarrassin cux i was wearing something so out of the blue and it's called " LAZY WEAR " and i wasn't looking great at all :(

Note to self : Try to look great at all times .

So anyway , i didn't really buy a lot of things . Just a top , a bag and shoes ...

I wanted to get the top i saw a few weeks ago but i couldn't find it :'(

Shucks . Maybe next time ...

I think i should get a job . HA HA .

i mean , seriously . But im loving my free time . I've never felt so free . As free as a bird .

i love the feeling yknow .

i was always occupied with things .

Like studies , school and work .

I had to juggle three things together in sec three and four .

I had enough of em .

I did my best and i passed my o levels and I NEED A LONG BREAK OKAY .

oh and my L1R4 is .. .actually 17 ...

cux i can combine certs -..-

but it doesnt matter cux i've applied to Laselle and the polys .

So far no calls for the polys :'( Im kinda scared .

But i guess i'll accept whatever .

AND my first choice is definitely Laselle !

I will make sure , i do well for the Interview . I'll do whatever it takes .

I promise you that .

<3 Rainn .

We can be thankful

2012-01-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

had such a long day yesterday !

Planned to meet Nick & Bam BUT we had to go to Fitting :(

It took so long ! But we met the other models too and they're really nice AND super pretty .

One of em looked like Agnes Monica *shocks*

oh and incase you're wondering ...

IM NOT THE MODEL .

NO . NO . AND . NO .

I hate it when people force me to do something i really don't wanna do .

I mean , it's fun to take pictures and all but as a profession , no no .

Firstly , I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE ...

secondly , IM FUCKING UGLY ...

thirdly , IM A DIVA .

ha ha ha . okay so the third one was a joke from Ferina : / Cux she wanted me to become one etc and i kept declining and therefore , IM A DIVA ...

so anyway , I brought Kitty along cux obviously she's model material . Kira & Bam too .

I just accompanied em . They're gonna be modelling for wedding dresses and some other dresses for a magazine . The company's quite new [ they're entering two years ] .

I was really , really tired and hungry yesterday ... AND they ordered pizzas ! :')

They had to try on clothes and more clothes and the leader or whatever you call em , talked to all of us about the importance of taking care of our image , the usual things ...

I got really bored after a while ... so i started to walk around ... and do some vogue poses HA HA HA .

AND TWO OF EM SAW ME DOING IT . JEEZ .

EMBARRASSING x ONE BILLION .

And they kept smiling and nodding to encourage . umm ...

in my defense , i was bored .

lol i look horrible but it's okay . This is the only pic i found on Mom's Facebook page ...

The caption read " Amazing models in the making "

only the three of em ! NOT ME :)

so when the rest had their dresses on , i just chilled . he he .

the thing lasted till 11pm ! i was exhausted from all the walking around .

A few asked me on why i didn't wanna join in the modelling thing ...

and i just smiled and said no thanks ...

yep , confidence issue .

and i won't let anyone touch my hair 0.0

<3 rainn

going out with Nick and Ferr today ! I gotta find shoes :D

Mom and her friends [ Bam too ] are at Batam now enjoying their spa ! : /

GERR .

That ain't fair ...

but nothing is so ...

he he.

stay tuned always .

OH OH .

follow me on twitter

.Rainn_Ing

Sunny Day

2012-01-19T00:08:00.000-08:00

Random pix from the itouch .

just got back home from the clinic . Ferr's eyes are r e d & i t c h y .

we had Mcdonald's for lunch !

I think i've gained a lot of weight . Not that it matters ...

I've been eating and eating and eating for the past two days .

I think it's cux i miss Dad's cooking . he he .

i should stop . 0.0 really .

Even Kira & Ferr are amazed . Usually i won't eat much cux the chewing process is so tiring for me ...

[ weird statement but true story ]

So anyway , i might be going back to Siglap Sec tomorrow cux of the CNY celebrations and also becux Kitty wants her copy of the testimonial ...

- - -

i think im gonna make a cover today but i'm sure it'll be a failed one cux im always unsatisfied . :/

why am i always like that ? lol .

I found out that a lot of teachers had been asking Ferr about my results and where am i going .

They prolly think i flunked . -..-

Oh and i found out that i can combine my certs which means ... my L1R4 is actually 17 ...

cux hml and ml are two different papers that i took in different years ...

so it's 3,3,3,3,5,7,7 <---- if you know what i mean .

But the points doesn't really matter cux i've applied to the poly courses already and i've already applied to Laselle . I really , really hope for the best [ which is obviously Laselle cux i love art ] .

Hopefully the interview will go smoothly :)

My interview date is gonna be on the same date as Raudhy , Kitty and Dinah BUT kitty's timing is different !

oh no ...

All of us got 2pm but hers is 4pm ...

But i think it's possible for her to change the timing ... After all , anything's possible nowadays ...

- - -

i am so full omg .

i still don't know how tumblr works . I think im sticking to blogger . ha ha .

Blogger is user friendly . I mean , Tumblr is too , but for newbies like me , it's tough .

but if you wanna follow me , do it now cux i have no followers . HA HA . too cool .

www.rainn-ing.tumblr.com

Gonna go to Seoul Garden with Idayo , Aliyah & Arini next week ! Excited !

Naadiah and Saliza's coming too , i think .

I hope everyone turns up cux it's time to catch up don't you think ?

Better to catch up now before i go m.i.a later on ...

Maybe going shopping wtih Ferr this weekend . . .

I'm in need of new tops ... and shoes .

NEED not WANT .

okay maybe both .

Okay then , im gonna draw now .

see ya when i see ya : )

Follow me on Twitter .

Rainn_ing <--- you know where to find me .

<3 RAINN

Back to school - AGAIN

2012-01-18T00:37:00.000-08:00

Kitty & i went to school to take pics of our artworks AND to take a look at the new art studio.

The Art studio is great ! The only thing that's missing is an aircon ...

But really , the artworks from the past years are AMAZING .

:')

Art is Great .

one of my boards . I don't wanna upload more of it . ha ha .

i am a fan of this artwork above :D

SO enjoy the pictures !

A lot of teachers commented on my hair :')

And a lot of students kept staring at me ... calm yo tits people , i'm no stranger ...

So Mr M invited us to the opening of the gallery / studio in February . Sure i'm gonna come :)

And he told us to come back to celebrate CNY on Friday ...

HA HA .

i mean , sure ... why not but it's a lil odd .

This year's great for Siglap . Everything's turning new and ex - students can come back without being quetioned !

so anyway ... i'm broke today . ha ha : /

Have to get my ass to Tamp later to meet AJ and pass her this documents she told me to print .

Shucks i'm so tired ! I slept at 5am mind you peeps !

Hopefully Kitty's coming a long cux i don't wanna go alone ...

<3 Rainn

Out with Kitty & AJ

2012-01-16T23:01:00.000-08:00

So i registered for Laselle's College of the Arts already !

My interview's gonna be on the 2nd of March . Still a long way to go but i really , really hope i get accepted cux ... i can't imagine myself not doing art for the rest of my life !

And i want to try new things . I really hope i get into Laselle . New school , new start , new beginning .

BUT if i do get accepted , school's start in AUGUST .

yes , AUGUST .

August is pretty darn far from now cux it's only January but time will fly for sure and next thing you know , it's already 2013 ... if there is a 2013 ...

We took such a long time to get to Laselle & Nafa cux we didn't really know how to get there .

Even the map couldn't help us ha ha . JEEZ .

In the end , the two schools were so close to each other and we found out that we walked an entire ROUND . - ____ - It's okay , we know how to get there now .

After everything's done , Kitty left cux she had some matters to attend to so AJ & i ate at KFC and then we went to Vivo City ... After that ... we went to Sentosa . HA HA .

yes , we were bored . But it was really , really fun ! :)

We get to see the gorgeous sunset .

gorgeous ain't it ?

the light in the middle of nowhere = ANNOYING .

okay i really like this pic cux of the effect and all .

Afterwards , we sat for a while , and AJ tried to take pics with my camera but she didn't know how to focus it so the thing went crazy . ha ha ha .

She met her friends after that and i went home cux my legs were killing me : (

It was very , very fun .

Didn't get to take pictures with Kitty cux she went off to fast :(

But it's okay . It's not as if this is the last outing . ha ha .

i'm sure we'll go out often .

i mean like , d u h ?

so anyway , my interview for Laselle's on the same date as Raudhy and Dinah !

HA HA .

i was like " um , can my interview be on march ? ... 2nd march to be exact " and she wrote it down .

Didn't know it was that easy ...

I know i won't get a nervous breakdown cux they're gonna be there together with me ! :)

And i heard that we must talk a l o t ... That won't be a problem for me cux ...

i talk a lot , naturally ... sometimes too much that people have to like , shut me out .

All i have to do now is to gather my drawings to make it into a portfolio .

I can use the o level's 8 boards but ... i'm just drawing more incase . My boards ain't THAT strong

and i only scored a B3 for it ... -__________-

OH and Dad's SUPER DISAPPOINTED WITH MY ART GRADE .

:'(

Sorry , i can't be as good as him . He is a natural when it comes to art .

i'm not a natural . seriously speakin .

Im not Art prodigy .

i'm just someone who really , really loves art .

<3 Rainn

What's in your head ?

2012-01-15T01:54:00.000-08:00

HI !

The computer broke down yesterday and i'm like WHUT ?!

I can die without internet . I mean , there are other ways to go through the net like using the iphone and some other crap but i like the computer just the way it is !

I don't like using the laptops or the tab or the iphone or anything else .

i like my computer and that's that .

I think Ferr fixed it though and it's working just fine ! Thank God !

She's a natural "fixer" .

So i told you about going to NAFA's open house didn't i ? Well i didn't go in the end .

wanna know why ?

CUX I LOST MY WALLET .

i searched the entire house and i turned everything upside down and i still don't know where it is !

Dinah came over to help me look for it too . In the end , i gave up . Kitty & AJ went there instead while Dee & I went to the police to report it . *sigh* Now i have to pay for the missing IC ... and i have to get new ezlink cards and a new bank card ... all my pictures were in there :(

i like that wallet , a lot ...

Incase you guys' found a wallet that's PINK IN COLOUR and it's Lacoste with an i.c inside , two ezlink cards [ adult and student ] , some notes , coins , posb card , a picture of Zayn Malik and also a picture of Delvina and i , PLEASE , PLEASE , PLEASE RETURN IT TO ME !

Dee's been great ! She bought me things and tried to cheer me up :') Thank you so much !

i still feel lost without my wallet . I feel so careless !

And now i've got to replace everything in there AND i've got to get a new wallet .

i am really , really mad at myself . i mean , how did i even lose that thing ?!

It's been in my bag the whole time ... unless someone stole it ...

yes , still uneven hair colour .

I was supposed to go to Nafa with Dee & Raudhy the next day itself since i missed the first one but i couldn't cux of my wallet . Had to run some errands : /

I don't know what's happening to me . I feel so stupid .

I didn't turn up for both the NAFA and Laselle's open house and because of that , i have to pay the $60 tegistration fee . I could have registered for free . -.-

It's just a wrong timing for everything to happen . I swear to God i feel lost without my wallet ...

But it's all good now . After calling Kitty & AJ , i feel relaxed . :)

Thank God i have such great best friends .

We're going to Laselle tomorrow to register and pay and whatever . I hope we can choose the interview dates cux Raudhy & Dee chose theirs . If we get the same date , we'll have to go together and that'll be awesome cux the interview's gonna be as a GROUP . so if we get the same date , we'll get to go to the interview together .

i am really , really interested in Fashion and i thought of taking that but i've chosen Fine Arts .

I already did the online application and i chose it already so i guess i'm gonna stick with it : )

I don't mind actually . I'm fine with anything ! Just as long as it's art - related .

YES i'm not an art prodigy and all and i only got a B3 for O level Art but i guess it's fine .

I'm still growing and i'm still learning new things . Maybe i'm a late bloomer but it's okay .

We'll take baby steps <---- okay i hate saying that

I've already applied to the Polys ... and i'm gonna apply to Laselle tomorrow ... and soon i'll apply to NAFA .

I really , really want to land in an art school .

But if i have to go to a poly , then okay , i will :)

I'll go wherever God takes me cux i trust Him and Only Him .

I really , really hope that AJ , Kitty & i land in the same school ! ^^

Because i can't imagine life without em . They are The Best people i've ever met .

They understand me and i understand them !

We might not be as close anymore this year but i really , really hope we stay in touch !

Anyway , i met up with xxN yesterday night ! I got home at around 6pm and i was drawing my heart out and she called . IT was VERY RANDOM But i agreed anyway since we were both bored .

I felt like a douche already so i went out with my specs and i didn't even bother to comb my hair .

And i don't know what the heck i was wearing .

HA HA .

Guess i'm still not over my missing wallet :'(

please return it to me , whoever you are !

Or please , just randomly pop out of nowhere , into my living room or something !

i won't quetion why or how or what ! I'll just accept it back ...

xxN treated me to the new strawberry frappe from Mccafe ! It was DELICIOUS .

Tastes like cheese cake in liquid form .

okay that sounds gross but you should try it out . It tastes like heaven .

And and and we only got it for 3 bux cause xxN had the picture in the phone for the promotion or something .

Delicious maximum !

Kira bought me that domo cap he he !

Oh OH OH .

i just made Tumblr ! Please follow me ? Cux i have no idea how to follow people and i have no idea how to change every single thing ...

i don't even know how to reblog . : /

It's scary .

www.rainn-ing.tumblr.com <------------ you know it's me cux of my unique name . he he .

" unique "

so today is Sunday and it's a stay-at-home day for me .

The weather's been great ! Very , very , very sunny ! Great for tanning !

Speakin of tanning , i really want to get a tan .

I got fairer and my arms got fairer too .

oh no ...

okay then , i gotta go !

WILL UPDATE SOON !

<3 Rainn

Back to School

2012-01-12T20:02:00.000-08:00

these vases are MADE not BOUGHT ...

BEST PRINCIPAL EVER .

so we came back to school to help arrange the artworks and clean em .

These things are MADE . How amazing is that ?!

The past Siglapians were born to do Art .

Nowadays the students prefer paintings and drawings ...

i don't see us doing vases or lamps or ... frames anymore ! :(

Yeah so i joined Siglap Secondary because of the Arts actually ... but i'm never go be as GREAT as those people who did ceramic works or woodworks or whatever !

I've been in school for three days already and the teachers got curious on why we kept coming . ha ha .

But they didn't scold us or anything . They were actually very ... welcoming .

Since im pretty much jobless , i don't mind coming back almost all the time to help out with the artworks and the new art studio .

Im not coming back today though . Today is CCA day in Siglap Sec . And i don't see any point in coming cux my CCA[s] are GONE . Mdm Su's in charge of Netball now and she was really stressed out when i saw her cux she didn't know what to expect from the netball girls . ha ha . I'm sure she'll be fine ! She handled us , Softball girls , well so she should be okay !

She misses Softball as much as we do AND she wants us to come back to play !

AWW I WOULD TOTALLY COME .

But most of the softball girls are busy with work and other social needs ... but ...

i'm sure they'll agree to it .

okay i don't know what's wrong with me today . I can't seem to type out a proper sentence here .

Anyway , another reason of NOT going to school today is because i'm going to the NAFA open house with Dee , AJ and Kitty today : )

im not really sure how to get there and all but im sure we'll find our way .

Singapore's a small country anyway you can't possibly BE LOST in here .

Will update on the NAFA trip [ if it's interesting ] !

And apologies for the lack of blog updates :(

i've been rather busy !

Yesterday = school till 5pm .

After that , meet Bam till 11.30pm .

BUSY GIRL . he he .

i need to get my English back . I can't seem to talk or type well nowadays .

EEK .

<3 Rainn

Hey

2012-01-11T05:36:00.000-08:00

so 10th January was my birthdate .

It was a boring day , nothing much happened .

Kira gave me a Domo cap as a present ! :D

Other than that , nothing .

We ate dinner together though but it was nothing special .

I'm okay with it cause i was darn tired from school . [ helped Mr M out with art ]

i was testing the camera . Really .

Mom and Dad says they'll get me a cake and we'll eat together soon but not now cause they're busy with work . Really , i'm fine with anything cux i'm busy myself .

okay , i don't even know what i'm busy with . ha ha .

I've applied to Laselle already . Who cares about the 5 credits crap . I've applied it through online and it was accepted so i'll have to go to the building to pay the registration fees and some supporting documents within 7 days of application .

BUT THE THING IS , i don't know what the heck is " supporting documents ".

They sent me an email and they told me to download the pdf file and when i clicked it , it says " UNKNOWN "

i mean , SERIOUSLY ?

i went to the Web page itself and the only thing i found is the supporting documents for INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS so now i'm really lost and annoyed .

i have to hand all those shit up within 7 days and today's already the second day so yes i'm freakin out .

I mean , the thing's gonna get terminated and i can always apply again but ...

ha ha , i just want it to be done and over with . you know the feeling .

i've applied to the JAE thingy too . 12 courses chosen .

And soon i'll be applying for NAFA .

yes , i'm crazy to be applying for all but sometimes you just gotta try .

if i can get to an Art school , i'll be so thankful cause it has always been a dream ...

- - -

today i went to school again . School as in , Siglap Sec .

Mr M wants us to help him with the new art studio and we are told to like , carry the art things and wipe em shiny . It was kinda boring cause there wasn't anything much to do cux the boys did most of the work OOPS . Gonna come back tomorrow .

I'll be there almost all the time so yeah , you know where to find me . ha ha .

AND ...

i noticed that people are suddenly talking to me . I mean , whuttt ?

All this while i've been in school but no one talks to me and now you're all opening up .

lol .

D says " maybe they're all starting to notice you now "

HA HA .

notice my bright hair ?

Oh and i still need to redye it . SUPER UN-ATTRACTIVE .

oh well .

I AM SO TIRED TODAY URGH .

<3 Rainn

Results .

2012-01-09T04:15:00.000-08:00

RESULTS RESULTS RESULTS !

so ... i passed !

:')

Yes , i can't go to Laselle or Nafa because i passed 4 subjects only but i am happy with my results .

And Mr M's helping me with the school im going to so hopefully i'll get a course in poly OR hopefully i'll get through NAFA with his help .

So are you curious to what i got ?

English - B3

HML - B3

Art - B3

Maths - C5

Science - D7

Humans - D7

so i failed two subjects and i cried cause i couldn't get into what i wanted but it's okay :)

I improved so much and i can't believe i did it .

I know everyone's been looking down on me because of how i present myself and because ive been skipping a lot of school for two years but i passed and im happy with it .

21 isn't Great but i did horrible for prelims and i almost skipped the whole year for sec three [ skipped school i mean ] ... I'm glad i bucked up .

im the second higest for HML ! I REALLY , REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT .

i cried when Mdm Abd walked past us without looking at us in the eye :(

I thought i did badly ... but i did good :)

And to those who looked down on my malay , HA HA BOO YA .

BOO YA BITCHES .

Yeah i know my Sciences & Maths are kinda atrocious but hey , i passed maths .

he he . from an F9 to a C .

and from an F9 to a D7 for science and Humans .

yeah so i didn't get a distinction BUT SO WHAT ?!

I'm fine with it .

really i am :')

Let's see what'll happen to me in the future . Im not giving up .

Maybe Art school's not for me but i'll just go wherever life takes me !

<3 Rainn

but i'll always love art AND im coming back to school to help Mr M with the art studio and also the art students ? :)

Your worst nightmare's back lol .

Thanks for all the luck !

And to those who really , really looked down on me , i made it . Did you ?

probably not . Cux i saw the points of most of the people ...

God is Great.